Mad Micks Stories

Not Really Goodbye

2006-06-29T15:42:00.000Z

I did give up for a little bit but of course ever the addictive personality I came back on http://madmickstories3.blogspot.com
And Of couse there is my main index of all my blogs on http://www.madmickstories.com

Goodbye

2005-12-28T23:09:00.000Z

Hi I have just popped into Blogger to say goodbye, I feel blogging has been my faithful friend I could turn to when times were hard but I feel that now I have grown out of sharing my soul with everyone - at least for the forseeable future...
2006 I hope will be a year I can expand out of the little birdhouse in my soul and hopefull realise my potencial as both a father and a son and a member of the AA.
I also think that being a member of the AA I have an obligation to keep the things I see in my little brain.
For the last few months my blog has become a load of mindless stupid stories and I realise it has outgrown its usefulness to me, it has been my second Christmas Sober and I realise now in order to sustain my sobriety I need to start helping the many millions of alcoholics out there in the real world.
So to the odd couple of remaining readers if there are that many left I bid you farewell and thankyou...

Madonna's New Single Sorry Out Jan 30th

2005-12-19T19:07:00.000Z

"SORRY"
The New Madonna single out Jan 30th featuring Zippy as special guest

2005-12-19T18:35:00.000Z

Wishing You All a very sober and happy Christmas, it is my second one out of the Fog, and a big thanks to The Headmistress my old boss who had me in stitches when she sent me all these.
I must also thank my office collegues Zippy, Alf, George, The Balloon Warden and Breezeblock/The Honeymonster/Mini Roundabout/Humpty for putting up with me since September.
It is my 476th day sober and my viewing figures to my blog have now hopefully bottomed out, even blogger themselves are losing out on advertising revenue.
Oh yes and congrats to Madonna if you are reading, thanks for that email telling me how much you love my blog, well done on your Hung Up singles success.
Oh yes I said I would advertise your new one in here didnt I....
Madonnas next single is called "Sorry" and its out January 30th 2006...

MY NEW SITE !!!

2005-12-08T23:08:00.000Z

I have moved to
MY NEW CHRISTMAS BLOG
until after christmas to do my GREATEST HITS

AA

2005-12-07T22:44:00.000Z

AA
Originally uploaded by michaels122.

Thanks to Angus of Mollys for this, I think its a really good straightforward description of a AA meeting...
Typical AA Meeting
Everyone arrives has a cupper says hi etc.
Then the sec calls everyone to order. There are few moments silence to remember why we are there and alkies who are still in trouble. Then there will be a few readings. The 12 steps (Oxford movement meets Christianity meets Buddhism) or the traditions, some suggested ideas of how AA is run. Self supporting, no agenda, idea is to get sober and help others do same. Attraction not promotion.
Probably some one will read something out of the Book Alcoholics Anonymous. Its got stories and some basics. God might get a mention. But it’s not compulsory.
So far UR ten mins in, tops.
Then someone will talk about their life, how it was how they stopped and how it is now. Can be dull, boring, entertaining and inspiring. Or all four! This for about 25 min. Then people can share back or just dump their stuff, the stuff that is giving them grief. Its all well mannered and polite and as a rule you just say your bit. You don't have to say a word either. Just listen if that’s what you want. There’s a lot of laughs from shared pathos and so on. Its a very safe place to be.
Then the sec calls time passes the pot. Not compulsory to put anything in. Just goes towards the rent.
Then meeting closes, maybe with a v short reading.
More chatting clear up and say bye.
Sort of group therapy meets PTA (parent teacher assoc).
Some meetings are big some are small.
If you do go don't turn up at last min, get there 10 mins early and mingle and if you feel so inclined say hi and tell someone you are new so you get looked after.
That’s it really.

My New LOST WORLD website

2005-12-06T22:01:00.000Z

It is now day 463 of my recovery from alcohol and I am leaving blogger for a bit to go back to my obscure "LOST WORLD" blog, this can be found at http://www.madmickstories.com/TheLostWorld.html
I dont think anyone will miss me will they because no one ever leaves any coments (sob sob)
see you all soon....

poo

2005-12-04T21:52:00.000Z

poo
Originally uploaded by michaels122.

Well its finally come round to my turn to share my story of recovery at my local fellowship, and what a wonderful journey it has been, not simply a matter of giving up drinking but changing my self.
You see the AA acknowledges that alcoholics cannot stop the habits of a lifetime without undergoing a total psychic change, but that is not without effort, Newton’s Third Law states to every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.
Making peace with the past and putting your future in charge of a transcendental power is one of the things that the twelve steps to heaven give you but for me becoming aware of my defects of character have been the most difficult thing to face.
I have often asked myself if I simply had somehow given up drinking the stuff without attending the AA would I now been the success story I am, employed in a reasonably good job and genuinely happy, with my son visiting me every weekend.
The AA say if you are truly alcoholic you cannot give up without changing yourself and indeed I did find it really difficult to stop for a couple of days and usually went back to drink because everyone around me enjoyed social get together while lubricated by alcohol.
Sometimes I wonder why I keep rabbiting about stuff like this, still it keeps me happy, so what am I going to say to my audience tomorrow, well I don’t have a clue and that is the way we are encouraged to do our talks since it is believed that our higher powers talk through us and we are simply vessels for there communication.
So any preparation is simply a no-no this would interfere with what we were supposed to say which suites me and you know when you are sat in that seat you do feel something, I think we may be tapping into our ancients latent energies when doing a share.
Anyway that’s enough about my talk on Monday evening I will put it in the back of my mind now knowing that if no-one did a share there would be no-one there for me 15 months ago.
I don’t know what it is about me though but wherever I seem to get a job now a days things start to go wrong, apparently the price of Gas has increased threefold in the last few months and this is causing problems throughout the brick industry.
A lot of sites will be ceasing production during the first months of 2006 but so far not the Lost World which seems to have been missed out of the early selection but obviously this cannot be true of the next if things don’t get any better.
That is one major reason why I don’t want to climb too high up the corporate ladder because the higher you go the fun disappears and the dependence on that huge income increases which means more sleepless nights in uncertain times like now.
You also have problems in getting your own office and find that people actually take over it leaving you rejected and destitute and wondering the yard singing “streets of Philadelphia” and to top all this off find that you are also paying for this imposters education out of your budget.
Yes this is what happened to the Balloon Warden my boss last week when our Health and Safety bloke from the Park came over to the Lost World and commandeered his office for a meeting.
The Balloon Warden was also expecting a visitor and the only place left to have his meeting was in the store cupboard, Alf said he thought The Balloon Wardens Street Cred was taking a bit of a battering.
Also at the lost world while I am on that subject the proliferation of pseudonyms for our Green Brick manager continues, he rose to fame as Mini Roundabout and then became “The Honeymonster” thanks to a suggestion by Kev in teletubbieland.
Many of the lads on the shop floor are now calling him Breeze-block after f*cking up his car seat, apparently all the springs popped and the air bag inflated when he got in for the journey home last week much to the amusement of some of his men.
Zippy has suggested that we now call him Humpty Dumpty because he had a great fall in his garage which seriously weakened the foundations and caused small earth tremors to be felt as far away as Selby and Manchester.
Anyway I had better have my weekly bath now and change my Dr Who underpants they are getting a bit smelly after wearing them for over two weeks.
Oh Blimey I nearly forgot I had my PDR last week didn’t I- I will prattle on about that when I come back.
Yes the PDR happens once per year between the supervisor and his subordinates and is a bit like a Parents Evening without your parents, I think it stands for Personal Development Review and gives an indication of how well we are acclimatizing ourselves to Planet Earth and how well we are fitting in as Humans.
After my last PDR which was with N-man at the Park I was immediately made redundant and then they changed there minds and reinstated me which I took to be a rejection of my performance but the Balloon Warden gave me a 3/5 saying he never gave 1 or 2’s for best or 4 o5’s for poor performance.
My objectives for the first six months of 2006 are to build an Access Database which will calculate the cost per brick from the raw materials used and to develop a training Matrix by coordinating with Zippy, George, Humpty, Alf and Mr Spike.
He also said I can go on an Health and Safety Course so I can become aware of the hazards in the office such as the wires attached to Henry, Naughty Noo-Noo’s vacuum cleaner and a advanced computer course.
He also said he wanted me to liaise with Zippy more about the products we sell and where they are in the yard, he added he thought I had fitted in well and was glad he had chosen me at the interview.
He added he knew I was a few light bulbs short of a Blackpool Illumination the first time he had seen me and had realized back then I would fit in well with the rest of the slightly sub-human characters back at the lost world.
So assuming we can manage to carry on paying for our gas bill or maybe find an alternative form of energy to heat our clay such has Plutonium in a controlled nuclear reaction my job will be safe.
It has been rumored that we could start using gas generated from the Clygester which stores Alf’s too numerous to counts craps to add to the methane bought commercially since like Tesco’s credo goes “Every Little Helps”.

Mollys

2005-11-29T00:14:00.000Z

Mollys
Originally uploaded by michaels122.

I am so glad I found this forum when I did, I owe my life to such a wonderful group of caring people who reside in AA Mollys Form, Thankyou...
Here is a brief letter to my fellow Jedess who has just passed her 1st year of sobriety and has always found words to help me just when I needed them.
Hi Debbie,
Just come back from a good meeting, really felt good especially talking with Tony Bus after, we got on to the subject of relationships and his advise was "You just worry about getting yourself well"
I told him that at first I came to the AA because I had nothing better to do with my life and I was painfully aware that the avenue of drinking to escape from how I was feeling had come to an end but he said giving up the drink was just the barest beginnings.
I think I am realising that I am just an overgrown child who throws his dummy out of the pram and takes his ball home when he feels he is being badly done to, and what does it really achieve, it just points out that I am a big kid who lives at his mummies because he cant cope with life.
Harsh words I think and these have come from me about my own defects, always longing to be that glittering personality that everyone loves, but really I need to learn to love myself, I suppose that is the next step after putting down the bottle and it is much more difficult that simply to say it.
I suppose while I am at it I should acknowledge the existence of many more defects, yes I am good at lecturing the people of Bradley where I live how alcohol is an evil mind controlling substance that the Government milk to make money from themselves and to explain to them all that I am the chosen person who have come back from near death to save them all, but this isnt spreading the message is it, its just following the easy option, in fact nobody dare now drink in front of me just in case I fly of into another of my grand life changing speeches.
Live and Let live is the answer really isnt it, the reason I gave up the drink is because my body processes alcohol differently and one drink would result even now into me once again waking up on there sofa having gone mad before collapsing and peeing myself and once again having to dry out the cushions in front of there fire before staggering off home and hoping there was enough hours before morning to disperse the smell.
Yes I should become more aware of my own defects like the program tells us and stop taking other peoples inventory otherwise I will continue to repeatedly bang my head against the proverbial brick wall wont I.
Ego really is a very dangerous thing to give an alcoholic and alcohol does feed it, I remember crawling into the woods with my dog after getting home from work feeling like death but a few smokes and beers later I was far away in a fantasy world where people worshipped me like a God and I actually started to convince myself that mundane reality was really the dream.
Blimey you set me off now remembering my past which wasnt that long ago and only one drink away, and that really does scare me but in the months I have been coming along to the AA like a ghost for something to do because I had no friends left something has rubbed off on me and even with this stubborn character!
Yes I think I am starting to learn a little humility, there is something out there I would call a force, my HP who is far more powerful than any words a man can describe him with, even the most fantastic minds that humankind can evolve throw there hands up in despair when trying to explain why we are here with analogies of spheres floating in empty space randomly attracting other spheres which happen to go floating by.
I think Debbie I am beginning to learn some important lesson, but quite what it is I am not yet certain, but one thing I know for definite life is far more bearable without that chemical called ethanol floating round my bloodstream!
Look forward to hearing from you soon...
Michael
xxxxxx

Our Visit To The Mining Museum To See Father Christmas

2005-11-27T20:04:00.000Z

coal mines
Originally uploaded by michaels122.

Once again its Sunday evening and another dark night closes in, but sometimes I think now-a days we just forget how lucky we are!
I have just been to visit the Yorkshire Mining Museum on the A643 Wakefield Road that joins Wakefield to Huddersfield with Luke, Squeaky and Uncle Bob.
The Visitor Centre I think made me realise just how much we seem to take for granted these days, a lot of the archive videos from the 1985 miners strike I remember and I also have somewhat vague memories of being bathed by candlelight in the 1974 strikes which proceeded them…
The National Coal Mining Museum for England is located at Caphouse Colliery, on the western edge of the Yorkshire coalfield, where mining has been carried out for centuries.
A plan dated 1791 and showing workings from 1789 to 1795 includes a shaft on the Caphouse site. It is probably the oldest coal-mine shaft still in everyday use in Britain today.
Before 1827 the colliery was owned by the Milnes family but then passed into the ownership of the Lister Kaye family, until 1917.
After 1917 the colliery was run by a company, which included the ex-manager Percy Greaves, a colliery owner in his own right. Around 1941 Arthur Sykes of Lockwood and Elliottt bought the colliery and remained as owner until Nationalisation in 1947. By 1985 the coal at Caphouse was exhausted and its conversion to a Museum began.
The Museum Today
In 1988 the Yorkshire Mining Museum opened at Caphouse. The Museum was granted National status in 1995. Following this the Department of Culture, Media and Sport carried out a detailed study into the Museum, and provided funding which secured its long term future. In 2001 the Museum received a Heritage Lottery Grant of just over £4.5 million. The Museum raised just under £2 million to complement the grant. Work carried out using this money included restoring buildings, new gallery areas and the store for large machinery.
Above is the enclosed blurb from the visitors handbook and the stories on the board, we arrived and booked on the 1:45 visit to see Father Christmas, normally the tours are free but this one cost a tenner for four of us.
We were taken down some 140 metres in a lift which was apparently haunted into a tunnel with a little railway line in it, the tour guide was telling us all about how father Christmas likes to keep all his presents safe.
We were then led along a tunnel into santas grotto where we were queued up in family groups to meet Santa himself and Squeaky tried to memorise all his reindeers.
Squeaky said afterwards she felt very silly as Father Christmas asked her where she came from and made her promise not to peek when Santa comes with his magic key on Christmas Eve, she was then handed a present.
Luke was next and when asked what he wanted he said he didn’t know, further interrogation by Mr Xmas got him to say that he wouldn’t mind a flying broomstick like Harry potter has but he knew that he wouldn’t get one that could fly.
He was asked where he lived so that they could load the sleigh ready for Christmas and Luke replied “That just depends if my mum is still living with her Umper Lumpa boyfriend, If she hasn’t been thrown out again by Christmas we will be living in Mirfield but if she gets beat up again we will be living in Deighton and he will be a b*stard again, its possible that we could have been thrown out and gone back a few times before Christmas comes so I suggest you bring my presents to my dads…”
Father Christmas looked a little bemused at all this but gave him his present anyway and our guide told Uncle Bob my brother about the snow clearing machines, which resulted in gone out looks.
WE wasn’t allowed any cameras or anything electrical, we had to hand all these items to the guy who gave out the torches before we could go down.
Once all the children with us had been handed there presents we were shown the snow clearing machines one of which the guide said had just come back from Bodmin moor on Friday after rescuing a load of stranded motorists.
We were then taken back up to the surface, I thought it was quite a funny few hours but both Squeaky and Luke thought they were a little to old for visiting Father Christmas now.
It’s hard to believe it now but about 150 years ago both Luke and Squeaky would have been quite probably employed down the mines, now it is simply unthinkable.
It was my boss The Balloon Warden who suggested we give the Mining Museum a visit, since at one time in the past he was employed as a electrician down one.
This got me thinking about aging, it wasn’t two minutes since Luke and Squeaky would have been wide eyed and amazed to see Santa but now they are looking forward to being “Old enough to do what they want” especially Luke who longs to escape from Mr Umper Lumpa/ The Emperor
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited
about aging that you think in fractions.
"How old are you?" "I'm four and a half!" You're never thirty-six and a half; You're four and a half, going on five!
That's the key. You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead
"How old are you?" "I'm gonna be 16!" You could be 13; but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life you become 21.Even the words sound like a ceremony . . . YOU BECOME 21. YESSSS!!!
But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40.
Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away. Before you know it, you
REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.
But wait!!! You MAKE IT to 60. You didn't think you would!
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE IT to 60.
You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70! After that it's a day-by-day thing you HIT Wednesday!
You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you REACH 4:30; you MAKE IT to bedtime.
And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards; "I Was JUST 92!"
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. "I'm 100 and a half!"
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!
So how do we stay young, I wonder, a few tips can be found below which are taken from the Jedi Archives (an email from Nicky Finn in the Fellowship of AA) and a lot of it does ring true to me
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay " them “.
2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. " An idle mind is the devil's workshop."
And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love. Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever; your home is your refuge.
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, to the next county, even to a foreign country; but NOT to where the guilt is.
10. Tell the people you love that you love them -- at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.
Anyway its back to a job I enjoy again tomorrow but I am having Tuesday as a holiday to take my dad up town, I need to start acting a bit more normal at work though.
Next weeks project is to devise a training Matrix which will I think involve me interacting a bit more with the members of our office instead as The Honey Monster says being off with the fairies.
Anyway I had better go take Miss Boley for a walk round the field and say my prayers to my Higher Power…
See you soon

Letter From A Disgruntled Australian Farmer To The Inland Revenue

2005-11-27T11:44:00.000Z

Inland Revenue
Originally uploaded by michaels122.

Hello, Billy Nutmeg from the fellowship gave me a letter from a farmer in Melbourne, Australia to the income tax people in response to a Final Demand they had sent him and it had me in stitches so I just had to share it with you…
It goes,
Dear Sirs,
Your heated letter arrived this morning in an open envelope without a stamp. My son and I have gained much pleasure from reflecting on the past.
You say you thought the account could have been settled long ago and could not understand why not. Well here is the reason.
In 1970, I bought a sawmill on credit. In 1971, I bought a team of horses, two ponies, a timber wagon, a double-barrelled shotgun and two razor backed pigs, all on credit. In 1972, the bloody mill burned down to the ground, leaving not a damned thing. One of my ponies died and I loaned the other to a stupid b*stard who starved the poor bugger to death.
Then I joined the church.
In 1973, my father died and my brother was hanged for raping a pensioner.
A tramp seduced my daughter and I had to pay the b*stard £500 to prevent him from coming a relative.
In 1974, my son got mumps, which spread, to his balls and the poor lad had to be castrated to save his life. I went fishing and the rotten boat overturned, drowning two of my lads, neither being the one who was castrated.
In 1975, my wife ran away with a shepherd and left me the twins as a souvenir.
I employed a housekeeper and married her to keep the expense down.
I had a hell of a job trying to make her pregnant so I saw the doctor who advised me to create some excitement at the crucial moment. That night I took a shotgun to bed with me, at the time I thought was right, I leaned out the bed and fired the shotgun through the window, Result: the wife sh*t the bed, I ruptured myself and shot the best cow I ever owned.
In 1976, some joker cut the nuts off my prize bull. I was buggered completely so I took to drink. I carried on drinking until all I had left was a pocket watch and a weak bladder.
Winding the watch and running for a p*ss kept me busy for quite a time. After a year, I took on heart and bought on credit a manure spreader, reaper, binder and a car. The floods came and washed the bloody lot away. I was not insured.
My wife got VD from a salesman and another son (still not the one that was castrated) wiped his arse on a poisoned rabbit skin and died from an infection.
You can imagine my surprise upon reading that you will cause me trouble if I do not pay up. If you can think of any trouble I have missed out on, please let me know. Trying to get any money out of me is like trying to poke a pound of butter up a porcupines arse with a red-hot needle. I am praying for a shower of skunk sh*t to pass your way and I hope the centre is over the bunch of b*stards in your office who sent me this final demand.
Yours Faithfully
One seriously peed off Australian Farmer.
I hope you enjoyed that as much as I did and thanks to Mr Nutmeg for your contribution to my blog

Ghostly Happenings

2005-11-24T23:24:00.000Z

Ghostly Happenings
Originally uploaded by michaels122.

Its funny, I look back at all this pointless twaddle I keep writing on here and sometimes quietly wonder to myself why I keep on twittering on, maybe this character who writes on here is the real me and is the person I am becoming?
Whatever the reason behind it perhaps best known to my higher power I just cannot stop myself from sitting here behind my computer screen trying to lecture my diminishing audience the philosophy of a crazy lunatic alcoholic who really on the scale of things hasn’t amounted to much.
The other day I decided to have a bit of a expedition on the internet and came across Friends Reunited and after reading about all the people who I knew and have entwined themselves with my journey through life through no fault of there own I decided to add my own entry which went something like this…
“Hi remember me I was that sad geek back at school who sat in corners and thrived on pats on the head by teachers, maybe there is a moral in it somewhere but I went on to get a Class C job at a brick works and become a full time recovered alcoholic who spends many evenings sat in his bedroom at his mummies writing total bullsh*t on his computer.
I still like to take my Billy Bunnie to bed with me and was once married but she got fed up of being compared to my mum when reading bedtime stories luckily I now have one poor sod who was incredibly wicked in a past life and came back in this one with the unfortunate task of being my son…”
Then I got to thinking as I trawled through the success stories, would I really want to be like them?
Maybe not, anyway I think just lately even the occupants of The Lost World are looking at my irrational behaviour and seeing me as decidedly peculiar, I mean nothing I try and do could be construed as normal.
The other day I was left on my own in the office by Zippy and asked to lock up while he went into the toilets to play with his stump, it was reported that I was like Picasso on my keyboard trying to close my computer down and making a hasty retreat from the haunted building.
When Zippy emerged from the toilets having relieved himself he reported still hearing footsteps in the office upstairs and had assumed I was still present and went home without having locked the office.
The next morning when reprimanded by The Balloon Warden about leaving the doors open I tried to explain that I had evacuated the office only a few minutes after Zippy had and while he was banging away in the bogs I was sat in my car rolling my cigs for the journey home on the M62.
Of course my story was taken with a pinch of salt even though all the offices occupants know full well about the ghosts who haunt the premises.
I have definitely felt a powerful supernatural presence in the room even in broad daylight but I am particularly sensitive to such things having what my boss likes to label a very active imagination.
In the end I simply apologised for leaving the doors open even though I knew full well the footsteps that Zippy heard echoing round the building were not mine.
This week my project has been to set up a database that will automatically capture data from the four ex-marshal’s works for an ungrateful Mr Spike who is charge of quality issues and this is a result of his pseudo secretary Miss Ewok leaving him to move to East Anglia.
I think the Balloon Warden hasn’t exactly been too pleased that I have taken on this task since every time this week he came to ask me something I was coincidentally on the phone to someone at another works.
I did manage though to pick up a bit of gossip, apparently in Tele-tubbieland Tinky Winky is most upset at there choice of Cruela Deville as there new secretary, in fact while he was on the phone he said the following … “Oh N-man we call him Simon Cowell off X factor, no its nowt ta do with his character just the way he wears his trasers reight up to his neck like… Oh yes we started off looking for an office junior and ended up with a office fossil”
Do you know, I never even received a thankyou for all my efforts from Mr Spike still it gave me something to take my mind off the levitating objects and other supernatural incidents that were taking place around me.
So let me use this forum to express my apologies to my boss The Balloon warden for getting sidetracked into doing work that does not even indirectly benefit The Lost World but just to keep a Mr Spikes empire-building tool functioning correctly.
I would also like to say that we will all miss Little Miss Ewok from Flintstones Park when she leaves since she was one of the few people at The Park who wasn’t a funny c*nt, blimey I am glad to get away from there even if my new venue is haunted.
I would also like to thank Alf Garnet for my new Dr Who thermals and the Honey monster for the continuous constructive comments he makes with regards to improving my interpersonal skills.
“Cybernet, that silly c*nt, he certainly isn’t a full shilling, what with the daft comments he keeps coming out with, spends most of the day away with the fairies then goes home and the sad c*nt writes a load of crap like this, oh yes and while I am at it Lard-arse the other day got me right in the face with his window washers…”
Even Zippy normally placid has started to realise he shares the office with someone who isn’t quite a full picnic, especially when he found a stupid notice on one of his requisitions for some salt for the yard.
In fact just at the moment only George and Alf are still my friends, still I have got all them ghosts to talk to…

21 Steps To Live My Life With

2005-11-20T20:30:00.000Z

Me and Miss Boley
Originally uploaded by michaels122.

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.
FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.
SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.
SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.
EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.
NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
TEN. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.
ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.
TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.
THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"
FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson
SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.
EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.

free underpants

2005-11-20T20:13:00.000Z

free underpants
Originally uploaded by michaels122.

Its Sunday night and my AA meetings are down to just 3 per week usually Monday, Wednesday and Thursday or Monday, Thursday and Friday so I am now free to do what I like Sunday evening as a rule.
This usually involves recovering from entertaining Squeaky and Luke all weekend and thankfully after all the palaver of last week this is again the case.
WE went to see Harry Potter & The Goblet Of Fire which was a maybe 6/10 film compared to “Revenge Of The Sith – Star Wars” being a eight this was Saturday Morning because I wasn’t quite sure until I went to pick Luke up Friday night that he was coming.
I did give my solicitor a call on Wednesday but he strongly advised me not to repeat last weeks performance of storming into The Sith House and kidnapping Luke again and just said wait and see what happens this weekend.
He added that going for custody of Luke was likely to be a nasty battle and one that would certainly make Luke feel torn in two no matter what Luke thought now and until The Sith Girl placed us in the situation he didn’t see it an advantage.
Even Dominating Donna (The Sith Girls sister) and one of her old best friends indicated they were firmly on my side so I guess she decided to not carry out her threat she made on the phone.
Still I prefer to going forward not to listen to anymore of her sh*t just drop Luke off and pick him up without any acknowledgement of her existence and like her sister says next time she parts company with her emperor not go out of my way to do her any favours unless they directly effect Luke or his sister Leia.
The Catlady and The Scottish Widow at my AA fellowship both told me this week that from the way I share The Sith Girl seems to have become my higher power, they advised that it was now time to stand on my feet and feel no more resentment or anger as a result of her unpredictable behaviour.
I have had my first gift from the Lost World which was kindly supplied by Alf Garnett at the companies expense that is 4 pairs of Dr Who underpants and after 1 weeks holiday I am due back there tomorrow.
The Honey Monster got 4 pairs of XXL underpants and Alf got himself 4 pairs of Small underpants while I don’t think either Zippy or George got any, and I haven’t got a clue why we were supplied them?
Anyway after watching Harry Potter get his arse kicked by Voldermort who has come back to life again we went up town and finished the evening watching Coming To America and a scary film called “Dead End”.
Today we have been for a good 3 ½ hour long walk along Bradley Golf Course, through The Scout Wood near Brighouse and back under the M62 via a pipe which allows a stream under to witches wood then back on the canal bank before finishing the day off playing monopoly.
The temperature outside has plummeted vastly to around –1 degrees centigrade some nights and according to the berries and the leaves this winter is going to be on par with 1947.
To me though I seem to hear that tale every year but as long as I stay sober I don’t care I just never want to ever return to the state I was in fifteen months ago.
So on the whole life is pretty good, I have some new Doctor Who underpants to wear tomorrow, I have exorcised the sith influence from my life and Miss Boley is asleep on my bed knackered after our marathon walk today.
Anyway that’s my entry for today in my diary, see what tomorrow brings…

The Dark Force Strikes Back

2005-11-16T01:55:00.000Z

The Dark Force Strikes Back
Originally uploaded by michaels122.

Luke has caused a few disturbances just lately, it all started with his mum Sith Girl apparently having being told by Luke that when he came to see his dad we sat watching Porn Videos, these were apparently supplied by Squeaky from her mum Dominating Donnas house.
Obviously The Sith Girl was concerned since Luke had been heavily interrogated by her Master The Emperor after a few bottles of QC and according to Luke he had to agree with the Sith Lord or he would have been taken out in the back garden and beaten.
In the cold light of day The Sith Girl decided to follow up her drunken phone calls to her sister dominating Donna by accusing me of watching porn movies with Luke and Squeaky but then devastatingly for her all her circumstantial evidence fell apart since Luke admitted (allegedly) that he was lying.
I went to pick Luke up as normal on Friday but had a strange dream on Saturday morning that this minor niggle was to become a bit more eventful in the coming week and this started with a phone call Saturday dinnertime from The Sith Girl.
She said she was outside and could I go and see her, well her other son Obiwan was having a birthday party and would I bring Luke, Squeaky and CK along tomorrow, Luke reluctantly agreed and I thought nothing more of it.
I could tell however that Luke was getting rather uneasy at forfeiting time with his dad to see his mum and then it all began to spill out how he hated it at The Emperors house and he could never get any sleep for all the drunken brawls that occur nearly every evening.
Anyway he went to his brothers party but halfway though the proceedings decided to do a runner to his dads house walking some 5 miles, the catalyst for this was that his mum was forcing him to fight with his brother and threatening him with being locked in his room later (as usual)
The first I knew of this was when his mum phoned me while I was taking my dad out for a drive in the car to PC world to replace a home networking kit and she explained that Luke had scampered and would I go and find him and return him back to the party.
A hasty U turn in the road and soon me and my dad were searching the streets of Mirfield looking for a ten year old kid who was carrying a stick with a handkerchief on the end but we failed to see him anywhere but luckily he had turned up at my mums while we were out searching.
I made a heavily encouraged decision to take him back to his mums only to make sure that his actions were not rewarded since he could easily have been picked up with some crazy psycho on the canal bank that was part of the route he took.
It had played heavily on my mind for the last couple of days and when Squeaky phoned to say she wanted to see Harry Potter at the cinema this weekend I promised her I would check with Luke and book the seats on the internet.
Now at this point things started to go astray, I phoned the Sith Girl who had quite obviously spent the day drinking and this was later confirmed by Luke and asked to speak with my son.
The conversation went something like this…
“What do you want to speak to him for?”
I thought really its none of your business but said “I am going to take him to see Harry Potter on Friday”
“Do you think that is a good thing then judging how bad he has been” she spat back.
“Well quite honestly it has nothing to do with you what I do with my son in my time” I replied rising to her bait like the fool I am.
“Well he isn’t coming on Friday then” she said in her usual pompous air of defiance and the mere fact that I am his dad and have a court order explaining I have a right to see him every weekend
“I will call my solicitor then” I said now at a point of uncontrolled anger at the pitiful existence she seemed to offer my only son..
“Well do that then” she said and put the phone down.
AS I told the police later after years of frustration at the stupid system where fathers have the rights of well nothing really when it comes to there kids I set off in the car to her house to see Luke not quite sure at that point what was about to transpire.
I knocked at the door and asked to speak to Luke and got told to “piss off” before having the door shut in my face so I went in and shouted for Luke to get in the car, which after a little hesitation he did.
Meanwhile The Sith Girl was launching me with a volley of fists so I grabbed her arms to stop any more from hitting me and Luke made a hasty dash to the car.
I took him back to my mums and decided to get out of the way for a while to calm down so me, Miss Boley and Luke walked to Echo Beach like fugitives and rather unsurprisingly PC plod was soon on my mobile telling me to return Luke.
After venting my frustrations about having to be reasonable for too long with a completely unreasonable person I tried to justify my actions to him and he said he would supervise the hand over this Friday if I just did the right thing and brought Luke Back.
I decided I had caused myself enough grief already and despite Luke trying to persuade me other wise relented and drove back to Mirfield only to be arrested by the copper but he did talk with Luke for a good fifteen minutes before I was driven to Dewsbury Police Station with my car sat vulnerable outside the house of siths.
When Luke had left the car he had said “Dad you did the right thing I will handle it from here” and he proceeded to tell the policeman “in no uncertain terms” that he no longer wished to carry on living with these nutters any longer.
Of course the words of a ten year old are very often overlooked and at the police station I was charged with assault, apparently I had bruised The Sith Girls arm with my attempts to stop her from hitting me when I entered the Sith Lords premises illegally.
After having all my possessions put in a plastic bag Prisoner Ref# 116346 was taken to his cell where he was to spend the next three hours though he did get a break to have his fingerprints taken.
The fingerprints procedure is now quite high tech with computers involved and I was asked if I was willing to give a DNA sample but was warned that if I refused one would be taken by force if necessary though he added that he couldn’t see the point in the question if I had no right to refuse.
After promising not to commit suicide and replying “not yet” I was taken back to my cell where on the walls were a sign saying Prisoners would be prosecuted for any damage the caused, yet there was nothing to damage.
I tried to sleep but my head kept picking up on the thoughts of those who had been in before, a maelstrom of thoughts rattled around my head while I tried in vain to meditate and outside there was loads of noise.
I pressed the buzzer and asked for some water at one point but no body came and began to realise how people can go mad in solitary confinement, anyway my time for questioning came up so I refused a solicitor even though they kept on insisting I should have one.
The questions were along the lines of how in exact words, which I have already said, I came to injure The Sith Girl and I quietly thought to myself about all the stories I have heard about her being strangled and thrown down the steps at the hands of her Emperor.
I did though admit I had done wrong and it was shear frustration at the system that had brought a calm caring person like myself to bruise one of the Sith Girls arms to stop her from hitting me while I rescued Luke briefly from his legalised imprisonment.
Then it was back to the cell for another hour but this time I did get a cup of water and something to read about Clean Slates (which I have included on my website).
Eventually I was given a caution because,
a) The Sith Girl in her wisdom had decided not to press charges
b) I was of good character with no previous criminal record
But I was warned not to do anything similar again or I would end up in court and not to dress up as Batman and stand on my house roof neither.
I did get a distinct impression that they were on my side and the officer who drove me back to my car (which was surprisingly undamaged) said they would assist me if I was denied access on Friday or any other time if I had my court order with me.
He also suggested I go get custody of Luke and save him from any more life in the hellhole he has found himself in which I plan to do tomorrow.
He sped back at 60mph through a thirty zone so I cheekily asked him “off the record” if police were exempt from speed cameras, “no” he replied when anchoring on the breaks past a gatso.
We are though if we are on call, how do the cameras know if you are on call, we have our nee naws on and the camera will see the lights….
Yes but how do the camaras know if you have your nee naws on and you are not on call?
Anyway I had to write this all while it was fresh in my mind I will keep you posted on further developments, enough said..

eye

2005-11-10T22:37:00.000Z

eye
Originally uploaded by michaels122.

A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table.
He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.
Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.
Oh my, I am so sorry, " the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. "Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you, " she says.
They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theatre followed by drinks.
They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.
After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast.
They had a wonderful, wonderful time.
The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed! Everything had been SO incredible!
"You know, " he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet? "
"No, " she replies. . . . . "
"You just happened to catch my eye."

Hung Up

2005-11-09T22:53:00.000Z

Hung Up
Originally uploaded by michaels122.

I don’t half witter on about stuff, looking back at my blog and looking at blogs in general I think they are for people like me who like to feed there gradually diminishing egos.
They are for people who cant communicate in the real world so they have to type out there most deepest of thoughts in the hope some poor sod somewhere will read it and that will make one feel like they have some meaning in the world.
I think when Luke comes to visit me now he thinks at least when my dad was pissed he would do funny things now he just sits there staring at his computer screen completely absorbed by pixels and Gigabytes.
What a sad end to a person who had so much potential in him when he was young and was reduced to writing pointless drivel on his computer and quietly laughing to himself at his own jokes.
I remind myself of that old beatles song “Eleaner Rigby” and the line in the lyrics…
“Father mckenzie writing the words of a sermon that no one will hear
No one comes near.
Look at him working. darning his socks in the night when there’s nobody there
What does he care?
All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?
Eleanor rigby died in the church and was buried along with her name
Nobody came”
Yes that’s me I am Father McKenzie sat here pointlessly tapping away at this keyboard and having to attend AA meetings just to find people to socialise with, what a pathetic creature.
In the past, long distant past I was somebody, people would come from distant lands to watch me dance on the dance floor, sometimes I would laugh so much that my stomach hurt.
Everyone would worship me I was a legend in my own head, every night when I got home from a hard day at work the party would begin in my little brain.
Someone once said that an alcoholic on his own is a crowd and just how true that is but suddenly the drink changed and instead ogf giving things to me it started taking – it was payback time!
Yes I do believe in Father Christmas I exclaimed to the AA meeting I attended and I hand my life over to those mysterious magical pixies at least I no longer have to worry about paying into a pension.
I will write out all the crap things I have done on a piece of paper and hand this over to someone to have a right good laugh at, only problem is that the feeling was so good after I got addicted to writing AA step fours.
So I kept on writing them, like that broom in Mickey Mouses Fantasia who kept on fetching the buckets of water I kept on churning out pointless drivel after more aimless twaddle.
I even built a website so that I could hope that out of a few billion people in the world at least someone might read my stupid stories and that would give my pointless existence some meaning.
I have followed AA advice and adopted an higher power which if you read the literature can be anything you like so I choose my cat and begged her to remove my defects of character – but they just got more pronounced as I became aware of them.
I gave everyone in the AA my number but no one ever rang me up and even the few who did it was usually because they wanted something and not to pass on there unconditional love.
I made a list of people who had pissed off and ended up in hospital when I went back and pissed them off again with pitiful tales of how sorry I was…
It was not my fault though afterall I had a disease and its called alcoholism but its okay now cos me, father Christmas and my cat are all combining forces to make me better again.
I stumble into blogland and wind people up by writing step tens not about what I have done wrong but what people had said confidentially in meetings just to get a laugh and try as one last ditched attempt at raising my rapidly diminishing ego.
Finally I do the magic in step twelve because everyone who I have told how AA has improved me have made a dramatic recovery and never been seen again!
So I am reduced to being a combination of Father McKenzie and Cybernet another faceless boring person who writes the night away on his computer hoping that someone in this world will read it.
But one thing I am truly grateful for through all this is I am now 14 ½ months sober - goodnight

Relighting The Kiln Part II

2005-11-06T21:58:00.000Z

The Gangster when we left
Originally uploaded by michaels122.

Just got back home to my computer after dropping Luke off at his mums, his mother has a rather nomadic existence wondering backwards and forwards from Mirfield to Deighton depending upon the state of the relationship with her emperor boyfriend.
At the moment her character is Sith Girl since she is living with the control freak, last time there relationship ended when she was strangled but despite promising Luke the opposite she went back to do more research into wife beating much to the sigh of all the friends who had helped over the last episode.
Luke absolutely hates living there, but I am not able to interfere because fathers rights being what they are, the law always favours the mother and since she is on the social all her solicitors fees are totally free.
Anyway me and Luke enjoyed our ride on our pedal bikes, we went on the Calder & Hebble navigation towards Brighouse somehow negotiating our way past more than 30 fisherman who were having a match.
The usually have there fishing matches at the side of the river but with all the rain we have had just recently all there fishing places were flooded, anyway we politely made our way past all there poles which blocked the towpath being as polite as possible.
When we drew adjacent to Witches Wood I explained about The Magic Pixies coming in there spaceship about 18 months ago to finish me and the Gangsters training to become Jedi Masters
Luke was a little embarrassed at my silly stories and exclaimed “Dad its about time you started acting your age, I am too old for Pixies and Hamsters now”, obviously the fishermen listening in on our conversation was proving not very supportive to his street cred!
Anyway we pedalled into Brighouse and enjoyed a bottle of coke and a Mars bar beside the canal before heading up the steep hills that takes us to the top of Bradley road obviously pushing our bikes.
I couldn’t help but think that soon Luke will be at that dreaded age when he grows another head and going for a bike ride with his dad will be the last thing on his mind but I can just enjoy the now.
WE crossed over the M62 footbridge and laughed about the state we left The Gangster in last night, he did look a bit like old Adolf Hitler when we left, I am just so glad I have hopefully risen above the addiction of alcohol.
Anyway he has gone home now and I am sat here in front of my lonely computer screen, sometimes I think that maybe The Honey monster is right and I am a computer geek with a few chocolate bars short of a selection box, perhaps I should be officially renamed Cybernet?
Well my computer is back running on Windows 98 and I have almost finished that AS400 Production Spreadsheet for work, it should be ready for a trial run sometime mid week, I enjoy doing projects like that in the same way some people enjoy sex, now how sad is that?
I have been strong my AA training hardly ever faltering over a weekend surrounded by fellow alcoholics but when I was reading one of my old stories called The Magic Pixies Arnt Coming Anymore I couldn’t help look back a little nostalgically at a time when the only thing I had to worry about was where my last drink was coming from.
A lot of my so called drinking friends who have the internet said I was miles more creative with my writing back in them days well I suppose you can judge that for yourselves by following the link to a old story which I have dug up from my archives and posted to a bit of webspace I had spare…

The Magic Pixies Arn't Coming Anymore.

Anyway another exciting week in the lost world beckons to me and it’s a bit like a cliff hanger what will happen next, one thing I do know is that I will have to suffer another week of insults from The Honey Monster.
The odd wagon might turn up for some bricks but will we get the kiln relit and could we suffer another Dawn Raid, will George finally come out of the closet or could Zippy get his computer working.
These are the questions that are on my reader(s?!) lips as I move into 13360th day of my life…
Anyway I will just finish on a joke kindly sent to me by Jedess Mercury…
Due to a power outage, only one paramedic responded to the call.
The house was very, very dark, so the paramedic asked Kathleen, a 3-year-old girl, to hold a flashlight high over her Mommy so he could see while he helped deliver the baby. Very diligently, Kathleen did as she was asked.
Heidi pushed and pushed, and after a little while Connor was born. The paramedic lifted him by his little feet and spanked him on his bottom. Connor began to cry.
The paramedic then thanked Kathleen for her help and asked the wide-eyed 3-year old what she thought about what she had just witnessed.
Kathleen quickly responded, "He shouldn't have crawled in there in the first place......... smack his ass again!"

I might of heard this before… anyway…

A woman, pregnant with triplets, was walking down the street when a masked robber runs out of a bank and shoots her three times in the abdomen. Luckily, the babies were okay. The surgeon decides to leave the bullets in because it's too risky to operate. She gives birth to two healthy daughters and a son.
They were fine for 16 years, and then one daughter walked into the room in tears "What's wrong?" asks the mother. "I was urinating and this bullet came out," replied the daughter. The mother tells her it's okay and explains what happened 16 years ago. About a week later the second daughter walked into the room in tears. "Mom, I was urinating and this
bullet came out." Again the mother tells her not to worry and explained what happened 16 years ago.
A week later, her son walked into the room in tears.
"It's okay," says the mother, " I know what happened...you were urinating, and a bullet came out." "No," says the boy,
"I was masturbating and I shot the dog!"

Relighting The Kiln Part I

2005-11-06T12:35:00.000Z

Capt Caveman on the toilet
Originally uploaded by michaels122.

Looking back on the 13,359th day of my life, i.e. yesterday I feel I have shown a lot of the people in my home village of Bradley the power of the AA and acted at its ambassador to a lot of my old friends.
Captain Caveman has just recovered from a stroke, The Gangster from a collapsed lung but still they continue to drink on par with the way I used to before my total mental breakdown last year.
But there are some hope stories Fubuman is being paid £400 per month to live in a huge 14 bedroom, 6 bathroom mansion in Milnsbridge that was an old peoples home but is now riddled with ghosts that his Aunty who owns it cannot get any more old biddies to stay there.
The Beautiful Blonde was at the Gangsters last night she is the prime candidate for the next person to be destroyed by alcohol, she was clearly in quite a inebriated state and nearly fell on the bonfire a couple of times as she wobbled round the garden.
She is clearly in a very vulnerable state since she split with her first boyfriend of more than a decade, with everyone drinking it was up to me and Fubu-man to organise the firework display and keep the bonfire ablaze.
The Fireworks were obtained by a dodgy geezer from The Lost World where I work and at just £40 for a RRP £100 box they were good value and on top of them Luke had another box bought kindly by his mum as well as Fubu mans additions from the bonfire he had the night before with all the ghosts we had quite a spectacular show.
Obviously there was a few mishaps with fireworks falling over and firing there glowing balls into the garden but this was mainly due to the fact that Fubu man cannot see very well in the dark without his glasses.
The people of Bradley seem to make good use of the fact that I no longer drink and I am considering getting a Taxi sign next year for my car roof only Captain Caveman was left to stay the night at The Gangsters since the last time I saw him he was unconscious on the toilet.
I didn’t really find it difficult anymore not drinking, and its quite good fun watching others as they become possessed by the effects of alcohol and start doing and saying crazy things particularly The Beautiful Blonde as she performed a striptease act in front of us all.
When I drove Luke and Squeaky home after the evenings events Luke said he was really proud that his dad was no longer drinking he added that I was silly enough without beer and hoped that when he grew up he wouldn’t drink too much either.
I suggested that perhaps he could cut out the middle bit now and start attending the AA as soon as he was 16.
The heat from the bonfire was ferocious in the little garden and it occurred to me that what a strange thing fire is, I mean what is fire really? The chemists tell us that it is a result of exothermic reactions.
An exothermic reaction is where a chemical reacts with another to produce a third and the result is energy in the form of heat and light this heat then catalyses more reactions, which produce yet more heat, and so a chemical chain reaction occurs.
This process was certainly not occurring in our kilns at the lost world last week because there was a kiln crash and one of the railway lines which the kiln cars run on had collapsed.
The kiln had therefore to be turned off and this was the first time this had happened in a very long time and this gave me the opportunity to have a look inside of course I was supervised by Alan Turner – The Balloon Warden just in case I take any pictures and inadvertently give away trade secrets to the opposition.
I asked the Balloon Warden about the possibility of a nuclear powered kiln surmising the well publicised possibility of a shortage of gas this coming winter but he said he doubted that the bricks would be very popular and might result in even lower sales if that was possible!
He added that the Bricks being luminance might cut down on the electric bill of the dwelling they went on to build and would be useful indirectly and directly for cutting down on greenhouse gasses.
Anyway put simply the kiln is a long tunnel, maybe 50m in length with little holes in the roof which hold the burners and allow methane gas to enter, in order to light them again after the tracks had been fixed was a job in itself.
Asking Alf how it was accomplished resulted in a sarcastic reply from The Honeymonster who was out of sight in the corner, “They get someone like you who is a few spanners short of a toolkit to go in with a lighter”
Alf said that they build a little bonfire on the first car which proceeds the cars of bricks and has this moves through the kiln the gas is carefully turned on in each zone which catches light by the burning timbers and old mattresses.
Filling the front car with stuff to burn this time of year with all the chomping going on has proved quite a problem so he has to get his wife “Elsie” to provide a few of he old dresses and that old mattress from the spare room at home.
Mini roundabout who is a few sugar puffs short of a honey monster provided a old broken hat stand which he has smashed up some time ago when he mistook it for a burglar when he returned from the pub pissed and it fell on him.
The Balloon Warden found a old basket from the hot air balloon which was lying around gathering dust at the back of his garage, Zippy brought of the nests he had built when he was suffering from birdflu a few weeks back and George contributed a few of his old wigs and handbags which he had in his nocturnal collection.
When I left the lost world on Friday everything seem to be going according to plan but it will be Monday before we will see the results of all the effort, Alf joked that there would be nothing left to burn if the gas is getting cut off willy nilly this coming winter and anyway relighting the kiln every few days would not be practical.
{I will have to continue this story later because Luke wants to go for a bike ride now and has got fed up of watching Star Wars Episode III when Anikin becomes Darth Vador so I will carry on my diary at about 7pm}

What can Happen if you get too drunk

2005-11-05T12:24:00.000Z

What can Happen if you get too drunk
Originally uploaded by michaels122.

Walking through Bradley Park with Luke on Saturday morning looking for wood for our bonfire at the gangsters and on one of the benches was this lady.
Obviously I tried to tell her about the AA, Luke said "That lady wouldnt need Arm bands to swim would she dad?"

Does The Balloon Warden Look Like Alan Turner???

2005-10-30T12:35:00.000Z

Alan Turner
Originally uploaded by michaels122.

Well its Sunday 30th October 2005 and I am 14 months sober today, that is fourteen months since I escaped from that alcoholic hell hole, they tell me in the AA that alcoholism is a disease which some people have in there genes from birth.
I am not sure about that anymore but nobody says you have to believe everything they tell you in order to get sober, to me I think it has something to do with certain members in the fellowships pride.
If they can say I messed up my life through drink but I am not responsible for it because I have this disease it gets them off the hook.
I do believe in a higher power though, we are told we can choose any conception of a higher power we want but somehow I don’t think we can have literally anything, for example how can my cat remove my defects of character.
I believe that there is a force which connects all living things and our brains are like quantum receivers and transmitters to this morphogenetic field and all the thoughts we think either directly or indirectly influences our future and the interactions we have with others.
Other than that I try not to analyze it anymore but believe that we will one day return back to our source and only then will we be able to see the bigger picture, that is when we die and look back on our lives like a dream from the four dimensional perspective of the afterlife.
So while we are still here on this physical plane it is up to us to love others as we would love ourselves and most of all be aware that the way we think of other people even privately can affect each and every one of us.
It doesn’t mean that I am able to practice what I preach to 100% or even 25% but I know that it is a lifes work.
Enjoying each minute and living in the “Now” is extremely important especially since we are brainwashed by society and our nanny governments to constantly live our lives worrying about the future and this also increases the collective consciousness of what is considered normal and therefore since we are all connected adds to the pressure to live our lives not enjoying the present.
I suppose it is very difficult to enjoy living in the present if the place where you work and spend about 1/3rd of our lives is populated by people who have no idea how to treat others which until now was where I felt myself to be.
The characters who I share my work day with now are great people, some having spent an unbelievable 30 years working in the same place.
Alf Garnet, is our Assistant Manager and he is the person I am referring to with 3 decades experience of making bricks, he is a very intelligent guy with a huge background of collective knowledge that only years of experience can give.
He also has a good sense of humour and is personality isn’t really as rude as the TV character of the same name but I do sometimes detect a little resentment against me, only occasionally mind you.
Zippy has just recovered from Bird Flu and his role is working in the stock yard counting bricks and just recently upgrading his home computer with all the software he can find that is free as well as obtaining free advice.
He is quite a happy chappy but seems to have the attention span of a baboon at times and like me has been reduced to a meaningless bachelor existence by previous relationships that destroyed his desire to share his life with someone else.
He did say to me though he hadn’t got has bad as myself at least he had always had someone to bash his bishop and didn’t have to resort to such pathetic things as doing it himself.
Me and Zippy have been helping each other though lately upgrading our computers and I have know got Windows XP through one of Zippys seedy contacts called Inspector Gadget though I did have to telephone Microsoft to get mine registered because the code IG had supplied me with had been used on a few thousand previous occasions.
Next week I should be up and running with the latest Nero release which with the addition of some compacting software will allow me to copy just about anything.
Three of the foundations of Alcoholics Anonymus are Willingness, Honesty and Open Mindedness and the way I am carrying on just lately it seems that I am grossly infringing the second one to such an extent I went to see my Jedi Master JMSS (my AA sponsor) on Wednesday.
I explained all about me getting all this dodgy software and he asked me if I could install it on his PC as well adding that you can only be honest with people who are honest in return and Microsofts monopoly of the PC market is hardly in that category itself.
He also said that your level of honestly depends linearly on your conscience and if you feel justified in your Cowboy antics then it can contribute to your sobriety.
The Balloon Warden is excellent at delegation said one of our members of the office who wishes to remain anonymous after returning from his PDR and one of the lads thinks he looks a bit like Alan Turner off Emmerdale.
He is certainly a lot different from the Headmistress who was my last boss, she was a dainty little figure physically whereas he is very large but seems to have a good heart and cares about his subordinates morale.
He reminds me a little of the Ghost of Christmas Past from Scrooge only he doesn’t have a beard but I don’t think he looks much like Alan Turner off Emmerdale so I have to disagree with Don on that.
He does however get a bit peed off when people from the accounts keep on charging other peoples company cars on to his budget and making it nearly impossible to balance the monthly accounts correctly and stay within our spending limits.
He also gets a bit annoyed by the number of fleeces being delivered from ARCO and certain office members playing stupid things on the internet on a dinnertime and telling people who phone up asking for him that he is having parties.
He was also annoyed with me for saying in my blog last week that I was getting bored and even telling Sunrise & Nman when they came for there weekly Dawn Raid so he gave me a training matrix to do the next time I felt fed up.
The Honey Monster and George have both only been in the office part time last week, George has been acting really strange like there is something deeply on his mind but he certainly isn’t sharing it with me, he calls me the office megaphone.
No one has yet got to the bottom of who was stealing his biscuits but I did catch The Honeymonster placing one of Georges buns on my desk probably to put me in the frame, needless to say it didn’t work because I told George I had no idea how it got there.
So like Ants in the nest or bees in a beehive we are all happy bunnies working together to produce lots of lovely bricks but very few wagons as of late seem to be taking them away and the yard is gradually filling up but we are told not to worry about it because our supreme management know what they are doing.
This weekend we have been rained off again though we did yesterday go for a ride on the field with Christine and The Falcon and before that we went to Huddesfield Market as per the usual routine.
WE being me, Luke and Squeaky and while there we bumbed into one of my old drinking buddies The Shadow, I assumed it was my Higher Power bringing us together for the first time since I gave up drinking.
The Shadow said he was giving up drinking himself and was down to just one 3 litre bottle of White Frightening (which has never seen a apple) Cider per week and did not need the AA because he was not weak.
He said I should not “dis” my mates but understood that I had to stop drinking in order to save what little sanity I had left.
My boss Alan Turner/The Balloon Warden said once someone has crossed him he never forgives them but unfortunately us alcoholics who are recovering cannot live like that and what for one man will be okay, to us will lead to resentment back to drink the possibly death (or so the AA bible says).
I noticed that he couldn’t look me in the eye when he was telling me how wonderful his life was and I could have just got drunk from the alcoholic fumes on his breath.
Anyway Luke and Squeaky are waiting for me now to go in the field on there motorbikes so I had better go, Lukes mum Amidala has moved back to T1000 terminator/The Emporer again so I will be expecting some trouble later when it comes time for Luke to go back to his mums.
I will hand it over to my HP then and continue to enjoy the prent now, see you all soon

I AM CYBERNET

2005-10-23T22:25:00.000Z

Ghosts Caught On Film
Originally uploaded by michaels122.

I am turning into a right computer geek, I have decided against buying a new computer for now at least instead I have bought a 7 socket USB hub and a DVD rewriter, the only problem I have at the moment is that I am still using Windows 98 operating system.
However the kind computer geek at PC world told me about “LimeWire” website which is the biggest file sharing program on the planet and he promises I could easily download Windows XP from there.
Also over the weekend I have got Broadband internet access which is so incredibly fast compared to dialup that its like being transferred to another world, the poor guy who came to do the installing could not believe the state of my bedroom which has been subsequently cleaned and I have a brand new computer desk.
I also installed a 40 Gigabyte file sharer a bit like a mini server to store all these files I am downloading from “Lime Wire”, at the moment this megafast broadband is downloading “Visual Basic 6” which even at 70 KB per second will take over 1 ½ hours.
I am certainly living up to my new works nick name of “Cybernet” kindly awarded to me by The Honey Monster whos character slowly metamorphoses between that extreme and the other end of the spectrum Mini Roundabout.
Yes work at the lost world isn’t going so bad, but it can get a bit boring at times now with the lack of wagons and the fact that my purchasing function is all going smoothly, and I have been told by my boss the Balloon Warden to try and work a little on the small talk to wagon drivers.
In addition to Bruce and Bruces’ son we also have a few more regulars kindly named by The Honey Monster and Zippy namely Captain Caveman, Fish Lips and Fat B*stard, this brings the grand total now to five.
Zippy came back last week after suffering from Birdflu the week before and the only remaining symptoms now appear to be the occasional desire to go lay eggs and collect twigs and bits of straw in his mouth/beak when running round the yard.
Unfortunately this highly contagious disease has been passed on to Alf Garnet who has been off ill since Tuesday, of course the official reason for his absence has been that he went to see a neurologist.
George who sits in the corner near me has had a few problems with his printer this week but other than that he has been very quiet, probably due to his mouth being covered with a white handkerchief.
Anyway writing this is passing a little time on my Visual Basic program is now 17% downloaded, I will put it on to a CD then and install it on my Server drive so that I can write my own Windows applications has a hobby.
Just took Jedi Luke and Squeaky home to their mums, Queen Amidala and Dominating Donna, Squeaky then went to stay at the third of the sisters houses who we call the Beautiful Blonde.
The only problem is she makes the other two sisters look like nuns, she is absolutely crazy even if she is quite attractive to look at.
Queen Amidala was as usual moaning about her neighbourhood, she said that it makes Iraq look like a fairytale and thinks the TV soap Eastenders is like watching songs of praise when compared to the activities she sees out of her window.
Strangely me and Amidala get on quite well now, she even commented today that our relationship could be compared to the lyrics of “cool” by Gwen Stephanie but she is very streetwise though she often complains that her streetcred takes a nose dive when I turn up.
All the street are playing their latest Gangster Music and she is stood at her gate with her neighbours when I roll up playing “Two Little Boys” by Rolf Harris and drop Luke off.
Well its back to the lost world tomorrow, I think I might go on Shite hawk if its not raining again, that is all it seems to have done just lately.

Letter To Cyber-mum

2005-10-17T22:26:00.000Z

Confusion
Originally uploaded by michaels122.

Hi Eva
Hope you dont mind I am recording this message for my blog, I just like to do a step ten every so often...
Just come back tonight from Holmfirth after an top class share by someone who I have never met before but has been around for nearly ten years and never drank again since his first meeting.
There was so much I related to and the other discussions in the room it prompted I feel I need to write it down here, in a letter to my cybermum. Common traits for alcoholics seems to me to be "The First Day At School Syndrome" where they hang on to there mummies not wanting to go out in to the dreaded unknown and meet all these strange new people.
I think if most AA candidates are really honest that is why they struggle on so long without going to the AA, it certainly was the case with me, if my mum didnt wave to me after dropping me off I would cry uncontrollably and I found it very difficult to relate to the other kids, getting to know someone new still holds a huge mental block even now-a-days I will cling to someone I know rather than explore my social skills with someone I dont.
Another common trait is the when left to your own devices without a external routine to keep you on track is to go off the rails, having a day off can start me off on an emotional rollercoaster- I will just clean out that drawer I think to myself, then I find a photo which triggers off another wild excursion which can lead me into the Garage looking for a long lost book and here I find an old friends graffiti written on the garage wall which makes me think back to the time when...
Oh I remember doing my Chemistry A level, I must remember to look up the pereiodic table of elements on the internet and so it goes on always having a knot of pain in my gut which makes me feel guilty that I am doing things for myself which can if unchecked spiral into depression and all because I started cleaning out that drawer.
Doing things for others keeps me okay but am I honest enough for the AA, someone tonight said I wasnt honest if I bought cheap illegally imported tobacco and sprayed my number plates with that laquer which stops speed camaras recognising my registration but I counter-argued that surely the Government is not playing the game entirely fair and being a doormat for them will just as easily make me resent them leading me to drink as will being "dishonest" and trying to avoid some of there stealth taxes.
So I come home tonight feeling like a AA outcast, someone who is not totally commited to the program and maybe I stopped drinking because I wasnt an alcoholic in the first place so I get Miss Boley and go and pray in the field, try and get tuned into my HP and find myself wondering what I am doing on a foggy night in the slight drizzle talking to the sky especially when someones torch picks me out in the haze.
Having been in this situation before I pretend to be talking to my mobile phone whist on my knees in the field, they look at me strange and walk past increasing there pace as they get a few yards away from me, Am I being honest, I should of carried on praying instead of pretending to be talking to my mobile.
No Eva, I dont think my mind is very peaceful yet, you see drink could take all this crazy thinking away but it had a cost and in the end 414 days ago I reached the point when that cost was too much to take. I know this all sounds crazy especially when I conclude that I have never felt better in my life, or could that statement just illustrate how far I had gone down that drinking black hole- almost to the event horizon itself but its not how far down you go but how hard you bounce back that counts.
I feel better now for getting all that off my chest... Thanks Cybermum!

Zippy & The Honey Monster

2005-10-15T19:02:00.000Z

Zippy & The Honey Monster
Originally uploaded by michaels122.

I have been a bit absent this week from interacting with my life, my fellow workers have accused me of being in “cloud cuckoo land” especially Mini Roundabout who seems to have inherited zero delay mechanism between what he thinks and what he says.
My other sister sites notably Flintstones Park near Leeds and Teletubbieland near Barnsley also have people who are my equivalents, Kev does the “modern secretary” duties at Teletubbieland and Uncle Fester, a fellow biker for Flintstones Park.
Kev phoned me up this week in the middle of all the chaos and said he had been reading this blog and liked the bits about my new job in the lost world but felt my name for Mini roundabout is wrong, I should of called him the “Honey Monster”.
He also said The New Empire would be soon getting a new computer system to replace the aging AS400 in the name of “SAP” which has just had successful trials in Australia and is very likely on its way here, I know SAP is the rolls Royce of ERS computer systems and I would sincerely enjoy finding out what all the fuss was about but Alf said it is very unlikely to be installed in the UK for another century or so.
I am finally beginning to get familiar with a few of the regular wagon drivers but probably for the wrong reasons, one person in particular who is the son of Bruce Forcyth I really upset this week having failed to leave out his loading and delivery notes for the third time.
Well on the second occasion I did remember to leave them out but left them in the wrong place, you see some times wagon drivers if they have a long job like to come in early and get loaded before the rush hour traffic has started.
I do not start until officially 8:30 am so they have there loading notes printed the night before and when they come in they can get loaded and be off while I am still in my pit playing with my todger (as The Honey Monster likes to put it!)
When I forgot to leave Bruces Sons ticket out for the third time he was obviously upset and said he was going to phone Fred at Flintstones Park from now on so I had to immediately phone him up and use step 10 of the “twelve steps to heaven” to make a sincere unequivocal apology to him, I also apologised again when he turned up later that day for another load and he looked a bit embarrassed as I explained that most of the time with me “the lights were on but nobody was home” and if he asked me again I would immediately print out the ticket while he was on the phone.
Bruces Son did eventually forgive me and trust me enough because on Friday he handed me the following poem…
A Tale of The Wagon Driver & The Despatch Clerk:
A story tells that a despatch clerk and a wagon driver were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey they had an argument, and the despatch clerk slapped the wagon driver in the face.
The wagon driver who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand:
TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE.
They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath.
The wagon driver who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the despatch clerk saved him.
After he recovered from the near drowning, he wrote on a stone:
TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE.
The despatch clerk who had slapped and saved the wagon driver asked him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?"
The wagon driver replied "When someone hurts us we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away.
But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it."
LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE.
They say it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but then an entire life to forget them.
But he did insist that I print his ticket out for Monday Morning and place the phone receiver next to the printer so that he could hear it for himself, trust but verify he said his motto was.
His dad Bruce himself is also a wagon driver and he is the other driver who so far I have added to my database, then there are our two Fork truck drivers who load the wagons that come in.
I also possess a Fork Lift licence from my days at Sellers when I did allsorts of dodgy antics on one, Health and Safety was a profanity in them days but I would love an opportunity to load up one of the wagons if only to prove to myself I could still do it.
Our FLT drivers are called Noah and Frank [Carson] and they work for there boss Zippy who has this week been off ill with Bird flu, he however came back on Friday but The Honey Monster said this was so that he could come in on Saturday.
Alf our assistant manager warned us all not on any account should we throw any birdseed near his desk and do not make any whistling noises, apparently another symptom of Bird Flu is ones legs begin to resemble one off an emu.
Zippy was also seen in the yard near the barns by his subordinate Frank [Carson] making clucking sounds and moving his head back and forward in jerky movements whilst simultaneously moving his arms about wildly.
The Balloon Warden our boss said we should go easy on Zippy in the coming weeks and try not to make fun of him when he lapses into these uncontrollable spells of bird consciousness.
It hasn’t made things easier for Zippy the fact that Naughty Noo Noo has been off on holiday this week and her cleaning duties were replaced by a guy resembling the bloke Basic Instinct, you know the one who that had a bomb attached to the toilet he was sitting on.
Also it has been noticed by the Balloon Warden who like Miss Marples is investigating the theft of Georges Biscuits that none have gone missing since Zippy was took ill and he has proposed that there could be two theories for this;
It is possible that someone is trying to frame poor Zippy for the theft of the biscuits and this would also explain why there was crumbs all over Zippys desk last week or that Zippy is actually the culprit.
On a lighter note though, this week we were visited by a group of sales people from somewhere down south and the cumulative blood pressure in the office escalated when it was found that the majority were ripe females of perfect mating age.
George did his best to pretend he wasn’t interested by staring at his newspaper but it was very difficult for him to hide the effect these young females were having on him.
Both The Balloon Warden and Alf was eager to show the girls round the works but obviously the Balloon Warden got his way sine he was in a slightly more senior position, he even showed a few of them the inside of the driers and the cupboard were naughty noo noo and zippy sneak off to sometimes.
The Brunet one who arrived fourth after the bloke and the lady in charge who commandeered Balloon Wardens office for a PDR and the blonde one who was also lovely really got me going.
Blimey she was gorgeous with her long flowing black hair, flawless skin, tight jeans and her mere presence was simply nauseating and I could not stop staring at her, the way she flicked her hair seemed to occur in slow motion.
I do not think my life is ever going to be the same again now and have given her the nickname Jedess Angelica.
On a sadder note it is now Saturday evening as I write this next bit and we have all returned from the Royal Infirmary, my friend who was once a loyal drinking companion is in there with a collapsed lung.
Its okay though in there you have these personal screens with radios, TV, internet, email and a telephone on them, I credited his card with a fiver and bought him a “What Car” magazine and dialled up this website to hopefully keep him entertained.
Our paths, myself and the Gangster diverged 412 days ago when I had my last drink and started on the steps to heaven.
Anyway I wish the Gangster the best of luck and a quick return to health…
“A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started. "
Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
The blonde says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle. She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a rooster."
He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then.....", he said with a deep sigh, "Let's put all these Corn Flakes back in the box."

Cant You Sort Each Other Out?!

2005-10-09T21:46:00.000Z

Can You Sort It
Originally uploaded by michaels122.

Yes I have been reduced to the ultimate in childishness, mainly to prove a point and also to further reinforce what was discussed at today’s Dewsbury AA meeting by the notorious Catwomen.
It seems something we both have very much in common is our Alcoholic egocentric brothers and in some ways I think she is lucky in not having to live with hers and his/her parents like me.
I wish there was something I could do about it but I cant, In today’s climate despite having a full time job I cannot afford a place of my own, a few years back when I rented a rotting council house I found myself almost getting sober involuntarily due to the lack of money.
What with extortionate council tax and rent which has gone up since at more than ten times the rate of inflation and with poor old OAPs being thrown into prison I cannot think of even daring to get another place of my own except perhaps a tent in the woods.
So I guess I am stuck here, well at least most of the time I can say as little as possible but when Bon Jovi is back screaming out of his bedroom despite him having a personal stereo I just had resort to such juvenile measures as “if you cant beat em join em”
Even Luke said he agreed with my next strategy of nipping our budding DJ in the bud, so on went my 60 watt per channel sterio with Ronan Keatings “Life Is A Rollercoaster” blasting out at near ¾ volume.
Now my poor parents downstairs can turn a blind eye to Uncle Bob despite him promising not to play his music for all to hear anymore but they can ignore the bass blasting through the ceiling making the light fitting and indeed the whole ceiling resonate.
I do feel sorry for them, my mum has just gone 69 and my dad is 68 with Parkinsons Disease but have you ever tried to reason with an alcoholic who truly believes that the world owes them something?
Like I said I had just returned from the AA and on my way home had bought a pizza which I admitted reluctantly shared with my dad and my brother but the latter came down to complain while I was taking Miss Boley round the field that I should of shared some more.
Anyway when the music becomes so load my poor mum had to come up and try and sort things out, and I did feel a little embarrassed like we were squabbling adolescences.
Anyway now its problem solved but what I cant understand is why he sits in his bedroom and plays his music, the only theory I can come up with is he seeks attention and wants us all to enjoy his choice of tracks.
Well I know AA program teaches us honesty and being nice, the big book says we should not only put up with alcoholics but when twelve stepping them invite them into our home, put up with them burning mattresses and where necessary administer sedatives and accompany them to hospital, court etc.
Well I for one am no longer being a doormat as suggested and unlike my parents I am not sticking my head in the sand and pretending everything is normal, they chose it this way, they wanted him out of a place that kept him manageable.
Do you know what I find most frightening is that I can see myself in him, the way he gets up early and goes for a “walk”, but it is just an excuse to feed his addiction in some place in the middle of nowhere so he cant be “pestered”.
He then walks back just like I did to have a sleep then repeat the whole process all over again with absolutely no thought for anyone or ambition to do anything with his life.
My mum, says “Cant you sort each other out” what a question, now she will be telling all her bingo buddies and her snoopy sister Cruella (who hangs on for the next episode like some watch Eastenders) how we were both playing our music like juvenile delinquents.
Which maybe indeed we are, but the point is I just want a bit of peace after entertaining Uncle Bobs daughter, Squeaky and my son Jedi Luke all weekend while he is drinking himself stupid in woods up and down.
The thing is that the doctors have told him he should not be drinking while he is taking medication with his highly psychoactive medication for his schizophrenia and the have made that a condition of his release.
I am all for playing happy families and I know we should all try and put up with each others idiosyncrasies but I expect equal participation from everyone, not three quarters of us trying to mask the unmanageability of the fourth.
Anyway that’s my Step 10 for today, and I am not proud of it but can anyone suggest what else I can do?
Jedess Catwoman shared tonight that her parents have boycotted her holiday because she has refused to allow her alcoholic brother to come along well at least she is lucky not to have to live with one.
Still it makes me realise just what I was like and where I could be again if I fell back to the dark side of the force, at least the constant reminder does have a few merits