The Mechanic & The Surgeon

A mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor of a Harley motorcycle when he spotted a well-known heart surgeon in his shop. The surgeon was waiting for the service manager to take a look at his bike.
The mechanic shouted across the garage, "Hey Doc, can I ask you a question?"
The surgeon, a bit surprised, walked over to the mechanic working on the motorcycle.

The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked, "So Doc, look at this engine. I open its 'heart', take valves out, fix'em, put'em back in; and when I finish, it works just like new. So how come I
get such a measly salary and you get the really big bucks when you and I are doing basically the same kind of work?
The surgeon paused, smiled, leaned over and whispered to the mechanic, "Try doing it with the engine running."

The Dream Master

The Dreammaster

The Meassages I got whilst fixing my computer!!!!

It feels such a long time since I sat here in front of a working computer, just about everything has gone wrong these last few days, well Streethawk’s still in hospital and my computer got a really bad virus which destroyed all its character.
First to go was my Internet Explorer then Windows started doing all sorts of strange things…
The above was the first example of something I caught a screenshot of before my computer completely crashed and I had to eventually format my Hard Disk and reload Windows from a Boot Disk that was kindly supplied to me by my good work buddy Alf Garnet.
However its not just reinstalling Windows it was getting back all those Drivers for the whole variety of dodgy things I have on my computer which I had to log on to the internet to find after I had eventually restored my dialup settings.
I don’t know if anyone has ever had to find drivers on the net but it can be extremely frustrating, you log on to a site which promises a free service and answer loads of stupid questions such as “What Colour is your cat if you have one?” etc then after what seems like ages it asks you for your credit card number.
So you start again and eventually after a while of perseverance I found a site called http://www.driverguide.com/ which did ask me lots of stuff and kept emailing me links but eventually I got there but did have to choose to opt for subscription to a lifetimes supply of chocolate condoms and a monthly email on compromising sexual positions.
The Driver for my monitor was first to be installed which meant I could at least see the monitor before my printer, flash drive, digital camera, scanner, soundcard and all the other long list of gadgets that are not included in Windows 98 standard package.
So here I am with everything working but that is more than can be said for Streethawk, my motorbike since she is still in casualty after leaking diesel all over my garage floor and although I only knew her for a brief time before that happened I am missing her already.
I gave the Motorcycle Messiah a ring on Thursday when I was passed by the fourth motorcycle whilst stood in stationary traffic on my was home from The Lost World and he said he was just removing the carburettors and would phone me when she was back in the land of the living.
Talking about The Lost World it seems a few people (well one Jedess Katkins AKA Grace) thought it was cool that my new boss The Balloon Warden reads my blog, well I can assure you he does, in fact I regularly hear the Air-wolf theme tune emanating from his office.
He also arranged on Saturday morning for Mini-Roundabout one of his subordinates to give me, Squeaky and my son Jedi Luke a tour round the plant where we produce bricks but he wouldn’t let me take my digital camera in case the pictures revealed trade secrets that our competitors would seize up on.
The Lost Worlds bricks are made up of only the finest ingredients, and the variety of secret ingredients that make are bricks so superior are a closely guarded secret hence the NASA-esque security surrounding our visit.
It seems though brick production has come on a long way over the years in terms of automation since in one of my long distant incarnations we used to dry lumps of clay under the sun on the banks of the Nile.
It also seems to be a very secret activity in fact just try and look up a University course in the manufacture of bricks or any information whatsoever on the subject using the internet, using Google the first entry after putting Brick Making into the search engine is some ancient company called “Ricks Bricks” from circa 1850.
As we went touring round with Mini Roundabout who after over three decades in the business has a total enthusiasm for the subject and his passion is very contagious, so contagious in fact that Squeaky nearly ended up sinking in the Stockpile.
I have worked at The Flintstones Park for over four years before I was thrown out and I never got a proper tour of the pace the only visits I got was being chased by kiln cars when the Headmaster would send me out investigating where the bottle neck was in the production process.
I think in retrospect though I was stereotyped into being the site idiot when I worked there and once you have been labelled as such it is very difficult to shake off the image and a lot of my actions including playing hide and seek in the nearby Quarry complemented this image.
So I suppose moving to The Lost World has given me an opportunity to wipe my slate clean and with now 391 days since I last drank alcohol and what’s more a active role in the AA I am being restored to sanity.
Squeaky said she really enjoyed her early morning trip round the brick factory and said inside the kiln looks like the eye on Lord Of The Rings, she also thought that the “tubby bloke” who took us round was really nice.
Luke said he will be making a brick later on this year at school but he wont have all those robots to make them but he puts some clay in a box and puts it in the oven for a bit, he also thought that Mini Roundabout was a “nice man” and enquired why I didn’t know anyone who was working on the machines, he also complained that the canteen wasn’t open.
I found that the opportunity to see things in practice will also help me picture things in my mind when I am back sat in front of my computer tomorrow, I also thought it was a neat idea how the heat from the kilns was used to feed the dryers which reduce the moisture in the bricks to below 2% before they can go into the kilns, if they didn’t dry them they would crack in the kilns.
So my dream-master is realising my potential at last, for so long the sunshine of my soul has not been able to penetrate the layer of clouds which would constantly surround me, even my recent computer escapades had a meaningful purpose to explore the levels of explanatives that could be uttered from me.
The Dream Master has been really active just recently and I usually find that this occurs at times of rapid change in my life, sometimes I wonder if it is the dream masters presence that causes the change or is it the other way round.
When I am asleep I have found myself at places in my dreams which have a feeling like I have been there many times before only when I awake I cant remember just what it was I understood so deeply in the dream.
I reckon the Dream Master works at a level more fundamental than our Guardian Angel, indeed Dipping Tap has often spoken that the Dream Master is a bit of a mystery in the planes of existence that lie beyond death.
Dripping Tap did say though that at the bottom rung of the ladder our futures are to some part set so this means in effect I was meant to be employed at The Lost World even before I was born and there is nothing I could of done to change it.
I always like to think of The Dream master as the orchestra of time, you know in those Terminator films how the first Terminator came back from the future only in a way to create the future by leaving the chip in his hand which resulted in the rapid advance of technology.
I think the Dreammaster gives us our dreams which unconsciously makes us act out our lives in a way which created the future at some base level.
Anyway its back to work tomorrow, back to life in my little world with The Rainbow characters, The Balloon Warden and my new mentor “Mini Roundabout” who at least unlike me has all his knowledge focused in one direction, and they always say a man of many talents is a master of none.

The Lost World Revisited - Day 386

So how am I going on in my new environment at work surrounded by a slightly slow talking pink camp hippo called George and his partner Zippy who is going fishing tomorrow and confesses that he enjoys sitting on canal banks with his long rod when being sat at the other side with a short rod would be just the same.
Alf Garnet has just returned from his swimming holiday in New Orleans and was today whizzing around with a brush up his arse like a mad man possessed trying to get on top of the huge workload that the Balloon Warden had waiting for him.
The balloon Warden seems happy enough with his new identity however he is somewhat confused how I could name my old Howley Park Works Manager Magnum in honour of a seventies Private Investigator who had a brief spell in the limelight on our TV screens.
I must admit that when Magnum was named I was under the spell of the dark force of alcohol which can in extreme amounts alter what your eyes see, it seems to interfere with the chemical messages that transit from the eyes deep into the brain.
That leaves my nearest neighbour “Mini Roundabout” who today had a few problems with his computer so I phoned the really helpful helpdesk on his behalf and the highly trained PC engineer on the other side after a lot of humming and arring came to the highly technical conclusion that Roundabouts computer was “f**ked and he would need a new one”
I then set him up on Marti Pellows old workstation that he abandoned when he took huff and opted for redundancy (which may explain why I am employed in the Lost World now) and he went back to his contented jovial self.
Today we were visited by N-man and his misses Sunrise and while N Man and The Balloon Warden had a good chat in the office about Golf me and Sunrise got set to work on the AS400 computer system.
I am now getting quite confident issuing despatch notes from our site and I have not yet received any black eyes off any of the haulers as they wait patiently for our 1980s computer system to systematically churn out there tickets on 1970s dot matrix printers, that could be thanks to learning a little diplomacy off Sunrise.
Yes things are going okay, tonight I waved goodbye to Streethawk my bike after it had leaked diesel all over the garage floor for the last two days, the greasy biker who came and picked it up said she was a lovely specimen of a machine and the low mileage looked genuine.
I say diesel because some of the dinosaurs who work on the shop floor have said that Streethawk actually runs on diesel or it might as well do compared to there latest R1’s, ZX10R’s and Fireblades but honestly who in their right mind wants to do 200mph on the M62 now-a-days.
The Balloon Warden my boss keeps dropping into this website and was a little disappointed that there had been no further developments in posts about The Lost World just (in his words) a load of repeats like the BBC so hence this post which probably doesn’t mean a lot to the occupants of Blog world.
Maybe a thought crosses there mind that I am either off my head on some mind altering substance or that all the alcohol over the years left me slightly cabbaged to be working with characters from Rainbow, The Magic Roundabout, One foot in the grave and I am not sure where The Balloon Warden came from but I will certainly ask my stage director The Headmistress next time I see her.
In fact I think she told me today that she will be popping in tomorrow to pick up her sponsorship money for the sponsored swim with the little otter club last week and to drop off my work boots which are in specially hygienic hermetically sealed yellow contamination bags with highly visible warnings about there contents.
No honestly I think The Balloon Warden is a really nice guy for a boss but he does have a hell of a hike to commute to the lost world from Leicester.
Anyway for the last two weeks or so I have tried to keep tabs on the spend that has been going through the system by using spreadsheets and pivot tables and thereby keeping our purchasing below budget it seems that Woowoos car and Telephone bill alone are pinching a percentage of it and he left the company some time ago.
Oh and I have now been asked if I will set up the same system for Uncle Fester who is my equivalent at my old site, The Flintstones Park and I will be revisiting there again probably Thursday, it was originally Wednesday but remember I told you all that Zippys going fishing tomorrow which means he cannot stand in for me dealing with the haulers.
Tonights picture was again sent to me by my AA cyber-sidekick Jedess Mercury who seems to be having a bit of trouble sending me a email since she has just texted me saying that all the emails she sends keeps coming back and she seems a bit worried about me.
You know even though I have never met or even talked to this lady I feel I know her so well, we have been through a lot together even if we are separated by a couple of Hundred Miles.
So well its back to see them all again tomorrow, our extended family and of course there’s Naughty Noo Noo who works in the Canteen and likes to clean our orifices I mean offices with the vacuum cleaner, I will keep you posted on what happens next with my next instalments of “Mini Roundabout Gets Stuck In” and “Zippys Day Fishing”See You All Soon Mad Mick - Administrator

Streethawks Poorly Day 384

I am feeling a little bit annoyed tonight as Streethawk my motorcycle has managed to flood itself again, I think the carburettor floats are sticking as it did this the middle of last week as well.
Its such a complex beast that I am thinking of admitting defeat and taking it to the bike shop in Halifax, I tried taking it to bits but it took me ¾ of an hour just to get the tank off which was connected to the bike by five pipes!
Anyway I have turned the petrol off and will charge up the battery tomorrow when the car is out of the way, I know deep down that things like this shouldn’t really bother me and I am full of material possessions don’t matter when it is someone else who is having the problem.
It was working fine earlier on today but it did keep loosing power like petrol wasn’t getting through properly when I was taking Luke and Squeaky home on it.
Anyway I will hand it all over to my higher power now, I have also been busy trying to get this website to show videos and I have managed to get my little cube in the corner and music to play by consulting some online HTML tutorials.
Jedess Mercury has been cheering me up again sending me a collection of pictures that “could only happen in Japan” of which the one that made me laugh the most I have included.
She also sent me a video of the Milkman that is quite funny and with my new expertise I could include but I would have to upload it on to my old blog and with it being 3MB in size it would take up a large majority of my remaining memory.
You see in order to include videos and sound in Blogger you have to link it to address of one already uploaded and if you use someone else’s stuff you pinch all there Bandwidth and they can easily break the link so I have used my old blog.
For music on here in keeping with my last post and coming out of the closet and admitting I was a Madonna fan I have added “The Thunderpuss Megamix Midi” which was used to promote her second “Greatest Hits Catalogue” but a whole collection of Madonna Midis can be found at http://www.beautifulmadonna.com/eng/midi/midi.html
Well its Sunday evening again and its back to work tomorrow after another action packed weekend, doing my Step 10 bit though I must admit to something’s that weekend that aren’t entirely honest.
First I attended an Auto Jumble this morning at Huddersfield Market mainly to purchase some motorcycle gloves for my bike that now sadly doesn’t work but on one of the stalls someone was selling aerosol cans of this stuff that you spray over your number plate and the Gatsos cant see your registration.
Apparently according to the sales guy on the stall the lacquer contains special crystals which reflect the flash right back at the camera and all they see it a white reflection anyway I was convinced and bought a can for twenty quid.
Now I know this isn’t entirely honest behaviour and if someone speeds they should be prepared to pay for the consequences but I do see the incredible population explosion of Gatso cameras as another money making exercise for the government.
What with Road Tax, Fuel Tax, MoTs, Parking Fines, Insurance Scams I think they (the government) don’t play the game entirely honestly themselves and anyway I have no proof that it works other than the demo on the stall with a digital camera with a flash.
Also tonight I had six missed calls on my phone when I was out on Streethawk and I never chased any of them up and two were from AA members wanting lifts, one was my close friend “The Future Rugby Player” who had taken the train and when I arrived was wondering if I had a resentment against him.
Anyway back to work tomorrow at the Lost World with Roundabout, George, Zippy, The Balloon Warden and freshly back from New Orleans is Alf Garnet so it will be nice to see him.
I have taken with me the phone number for the bike shop and shall endeavour to get in touch with them tomorrow but the only problem with working is that you can never find time to take the bike in so I think I will have to use another of my days holiday.

Dont Tell Me...

“Hung Up” is the name of Madonnas next single which will be released from her tenth Studio Album called “Confessions On A Dancefloor” on October 17th and is the first song that she has released in my sobriety.
Madonna has always seemed like a companion to me and her lyrics of her songs could usually bear more than a passing resemblance to events in my life.
She released “Holiday” in 1984 when I had my first holiday away from my parents, “Crazy For You” was the summer ballad of 1985 when I discovered my first girlfriend, “Papa Don’t Preach” was when I discovered drinking and my dad would natter incessantly about me wondering off to the pub with my friends.
“Like A Prayer” was my heyday in the nightclubs on my knees in the middle of the dancefloor with a whole army of fans trying to catch a glimpse of this fantastic dancer, well it felt that way in my head.
“Cherish” was the song which I finally fell for someone who would later become the mother of my only son Luke and “Justify My Love” brought to a end the year 1990 which I had spent one quarter of it in Pinderfields hospital recovering from my botched up suicide attempt.
“Rescue Me” was the appropriate release that saw me get into my first serious relationship and start to believe that maybe there was a God in this world but I could not let go of the drink and by 1992 as “Deeper And Deeper” was released I was also sinking deeper into the alcoholic pit.
“Ill Remember” was a beautiful ballad which hit No7 in 1994 when for the first time me and Queen Amidala split up and I was devastated but luckily we got back together for another couple of years and Luke was finally conceived.
But “Youll See” towards the end of 1995 finally saw us part company to live our lives apart but I started to drink at a phenomenal rate from hereon and my alcoholism took old of my life.
By 1998 I was “Frozen” without any belief in anything other than drink and I would spend may evenings staring into space listening to the LP “Ray Of Light”, my flat had become a drug and drink den where all the locals would flock to on a Saturday night to drink themselves senseless.
“Drowned World / Substitute For Love”, “The Power Of Goodbye” and “Nothing Really Matters” where distinctly meaningful to me at this time and took me into 1999 which the drink continued to flow.
When “Don’t Tell Me” hit No4 in November 2000 I was made redundant from my first job after the financial director did tell me that my time there had finally come to an end and the bottoms continued to get even lower.
“Die Another Day” in 2002 was exactly that for me every morning when I awoke but luckily somehow someway I had managed to find myself another company that would employ me.
2003 saw my distinction between reality and the world in my head begin to become fuzzy and I remember at some point during this year I released a crap single dueting with Britney Spears called “Me Against The Alcohol” and then I became quiet.
Even then it was another blurred year or so until I finally fell to my knees and admitted I was powerless over alcohol…
During that year I have had to unlearn a lot that I had learned but I have gradually become part of the AA an organisation which has put out a helping hand for me when there was nothing to grab hold of.
During that year there have been many times when I felt like going back out there and doing just a little more research to see if I was really an alcoholic but what more proof did I need.
I felt a lot like in the lyrics of “Don’t Cry For Me Argentina” when it says “… running around trying everything new but nothing impressed me at all but I never expected it too…”
One of the songs of Madonna though I was not about to act out was her 1985 hit “Gambler”, so I persevered with the AA and the more I heard the more I related to.
The life force was beginning to flow through my veins once again the deadlight in my eyes started to transform to a slight twinkle, I began to pray once again but this time it was in the middle of the field with my dog and not in the middle of the dancefloor in a drunken trance.
Really when I go to the meetings like I did tonight and listen to the wisdom of The Shop Assistant who has been sober for over seven years I should be sat there wearing “L” plates.
“Opening My Heart” to the AA has been so rewarding but I am only beginning, I still make things far too complex just like I am doing now and I realise that if I am going to survive I really need to start keeping things simple.
For my wisdom I am still looking to Madonna though to conjure up more scripts for my epic journey which seems mapped to her lyrics, so could it be that Hung Up rather than Hung Over is an appropriate title to begin the next Chapter.

Half Naked, well not really Me on Streethawk Thursday (Day 381)

A 90-year old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think of that?" The doctor replied, "I have an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day he was in a hurry and picked up his umbrella instead of the rifle. When he got to the creek, he saw a beaver. He raised his umbrella and went "bang, bang, bang"..... AND THE BEAVER FELL DEAD!!! What do you think of that?" The 90-year old said, "I'd say somebody else shot the beaver." The doctor said, "My point exactly."

Growing Old Day 377

Just woke up and its Sunday morning, Luke brought me a nice cup of tea then I got plugged into my computer here while he settled into his wrestling game.
I had a email from Jedess Mercury who is some 10 months sober and we have both shared our recovery together by email, texts and in Mollys forum but we have never spoken a bit like that film I forget what its called, but it certainly helps knowing she is out there somewhere.
I dreamt last night that my garage was robbed and my new bike Streethawk was stolen, I suppose that explains my paranoia but thinking back to those days only a few years ago when I would lig in bed all day repeatedly drinking whisky and passing out living purely in a fantasy world in my own head.
Only the postman would break through when he delivered the morning mail, which echoed through the flat when it plopped through the letterbox.
I had another few emails from Nicky Finn a member of my fellowship and one included a beautiful story which I think sums up just what I am trying to say about Growing old, thanks Nicky…

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn't already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder. I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being. She said, "Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I'm eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?" I laughed and enthusiastically responded, "Of course you may!" and she gave me a giant squeeze. "Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?" I asked. She jokingly replied, "I'm here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids..." "No seriously," I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age. "I always dreamed of having a college education and now I'm getting one!" she told me. After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake. We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this "time machine" as she shared her wisdom and experience with me. Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she reveled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up. At! the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I'll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor. Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, "I'm sorry I'm so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I'll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know." (this cracked me up!) As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, "We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing. There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy, and achieving success. You have to laugh and find humor every day. You've got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die. We have so many people walking around who are dead and don't even know it! There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up. If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don't do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight. Anybody can grow older. That doesn't take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets. The elderly usually don't have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets." She concluded her speech by courageously singing "The Rose." She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the year's end Rose finished the college degree she had begun all those years ago. One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep. Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it's never too late to be all you can possibly be. When you finish reading this, please send this peaceful word of advice to your friends and family, they'll really enjoy it! These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE. REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL. We make a Living by what we get, We make a Life by what we give. "Good friends are like stars.........You don't always see them, but you know they are always there."

Cat With A Machine Gun!? Day 376

Its Saturday night and I haven’t been to the AA since Thursday because I have been busy buying a Motorcycle and now I have got one, a L registered GPX250R with just one careful lady owner and a miniscule 11000 miles on the clock.
The mileage seems genuine since I also have all the previous MOT certificates and they all record the slowly increasing figure, we bought it from Stockport for £900 on Friday after looking on Auto traders website.
I also got insured on line using Norwich Unions website and this cost me £364 and today I have been searching for some gear, we managed to pick up a couple of helmets from Huddersfield Market for £3 each and then I got one for myself from Argos for £50.
I just feel like a cat with a machine gun, zooming around my home village with Luke then Squeaky on the back of Streethawk which I have lovingly named the bike (I just wonder if anyone can remember that program on ITV by the same name)
I think my wildest dreams before I got sober was to once again have a bike, I don’t know I cant help but think that my life has got so good something bad is about to happen, but I suppose its just what I had become conditioned to believe from all those days I spent pouring that poison down my throat.
Anyway Nicky Finn sent me this lovely story which I enclose below, it just made me realise something about the way we treat others, you know because everyone else says “oh you don’t want to bother with that guy he is this and that”, so we don’t and pass the message on…

As she stood in front of her 5th grade class on the very first day of school, she told the children an untruth. Like most teachers, she looked at her students and said that she loved them all the same. However, that was impossible, because there in the front row, slumped in his seat, was a little boy named Teddy Stoddard.
Mrs. Thompson had watched Teddy the year before and noticed that he did not play well with the other children, that his clothes were messy and that he constantly needed a bath. In addition, Teddy could be unpleasant. It got to the point where Mrs. Thompson would actually take delight in marking his papers with a broad red pen, making bold X's and then putting a big "F" at the top of his papers.
At the school where Mrs. Thompson taught, she was required to review each child's past records and she put Teddy's off until last. However, when she reviewed his file, she was in for a surprise.
Teddy's first grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is a bright child with a ready laugh. He does his work neatly and has good manners... he is a joy to be around.."
His second grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is an excellent student, well liked by his classmates, but he is troubled because his mother has a terminal illness and life at home must be a struggle."His third grade teacher wrote, "His mother's death has been hard on him. He tries to do his best, but his father doesn't show much interest, and his home life will soon affect him if some steps aren't taken."
Teddy's fourth grade teacher wrote, "Teddy is withdrawn and doesn't show much interest in school. He doesn't have many friends and he sometimes sleeps in class."
By now, Mrs. Thompson realized the problem and she was ashamed of herself. She felt even worse when her students brought her Christmas presents, wrapped in beautiful ribbons and bright paper, except for Teddy's. His present was clumsily wrapped in the heavy, brown paper that he got from a grocery bag. Mrs. Thompson took pains to open it in the middle of the other presents. Some of the children started to laugh when she found a rhinestone bracelet with some of the stones missing, and a bottle that was one-quarter full of perfume. But she stifled the children's laughter when she exclaimed how pretty the bracelet was, putting it on, and dabbing some of the perfume on her wrist. Teddy Stoddard stayed after school that day just long enough to say, "Mrs. Thompson, today you smelled just like my Mom used to."
After the children left, she cried for at least an hour. On that very day, she quit teaching reading, writing, and arithmetic. Instead, she began to teach children. Mrs. Thompson paid particular attention to Teddy. As she worked with him, his mind seemed to come alive. The more she encouraged him, the faster he responded. By the end of the year, Teddy had become one of the smartest children in the class and, despite her lie that she would love all the children the same, Teddy became one of her "teacher's pets.
A year later, she found a note under her door, from Teddy, telling her that she was the best teacher he ever had in his whole life.
Six years went by before she got another note from Teddy. He then wrote that he had finished high school, third in his class, and she was still the best teacher he ever had in life.
Four years after that, she got another letter,! saying that while things had been tough at times, he'd stayed in school, had stuck with it, and would soon graduate from college with the highest of honors. He assured Mrs. Thompson that she was still the best and favorite teacher he had ever had in his whole life.
Then four more years passed and yet another letter came. This time he explained that after he got his bachelor's degree, he decided to go a little further. The letter explained that she was still the best and favorite teacher he ever had. But now his name was a little longer.... The letter was signed, Theodore F. Stoddard, MD.The story does not end there. You see, there was yet another letter that spring. Teddy said he had met this girl and was going to be married. He explained that his father had died a couple of years ago and he was wondering if Mrs. Thompson might agree to sit at the wedding in the place that was usually reserved for the mother of the groom. Of course, Mrs. Thompson did. And guess what? She wore that bracelet, the one with several rhinestones missing. Moreover, she made sure she was wearing the perfume that Teddy remembered his mother wearing on their last Christmas together.
They hugged each other, and Dr. Stoddard whispered in Mrs. Thompson's ear, Thank you Mrs. Thompson for believing in me. Thank you so much for making me feel important and showing me that I could make a difference."
Mrs. Thompson, with tears in her eyes, whispered back. She said, "Teddy, you have it all wrong. You were the one who taught me that I could make a difference. I didn't know how to teach until I met you."

Half Naked er Thursday

These arnt my eyes, they were sent to me by my good friend Jedess Mercury yesterday, I have just got back from my AA meeting at Holmfirth and am feeling a bit overwhelmed by life at the moment.
I am searching Autotrader on line to get a motorbike because I feel bad using the car to go to work every day, I have been renamed Mad Max at work by Mini Roundabout because of wanting to become a born again biker.
In my past I had quite a few bikes I started with a RD50, then a RD125Lc, then the obvious step up was to the legendary RD350LC and finally finishing the climb in cc's with a GPZ600R before dropping back to a CB250 Superdream.
I have been looking on Autotrader tonight and I thought a GPX250R would be nice, I dont want anything too big, anyway I am doing my service at AA I am takin the chair on Monday night, opening up Thursdays and getting a cake for The Bus Conductors 7665th day sober next Thursday.
Anyway I had better get to booboos, I will do a philosophical post tommorow with a bit of quantum mechanics and characters from the BBC TV program Rainbow thrown in.

When You are driving too fast

Above Sent by Jedess Mercury
Below (Next Post) "Mini Roundabout"

Introducing The Lost World

Welcome To The Lost World
My new job is situated in a small village called Swillington just a few miles East of the city of Leeds and I really do feel quite happy working there however the way sales of bricks out of the site are going at the moment I am starting to wonder just how long I will be working there.
My boss is called The Balloon Warden, he is a rather large guy with a good sense of humour and is one of those sort of people who you wonder when to take serious but he seems happy with the computer work I have done for him so far.
I do however miss all the ladies from the sales team and I especially miss my old boss “The headmistress”, who despite being ten years younger than me gave me a lot of good advice.
I have been placed in a corner desk out of the way and my old name of “Mad Mick” continues to haunt me but I realise this is just to distinguish me from the other two Micks in the office, my boss who I have labelled the Balloon Warden and Alf Garnet who is now away on holiday in New Orleans of all places.
My main duty is to look after the purchase orders and to keep the Balloon Warden updated on our current spend so that he doesn’t go over budget and get slap wrists off the central accountants and I do this with a series of complex spreadsheets and Pivot tables which I post onto the shared server at the end of each working day.
My nearest neighbour in my little corner is dubbed “Mini Roundabout” and he too is a very well made and jovial character with a black belt in karate, he says he is still recovering from his last line manager Mr Woowoo who has now wondered off for pastures new.
I call our site the lost world because with the demise of the sales Ibots at our Flintstones HQ where I moved from none of the bricks we are making are being sold and this is causing a few problems on where to stock them in our stock yard.
My other role which shouldn’t cause too much of a problem once the computer wizards from the ZX81 department update my AS400 privileges will be processing the despatches out of the yard.
As well as Alf Garnet, The Balloon Warden and Mini Roundabout there is another two characters in our office who both sit by the window, one is in charge of the stock yard and I have labelled Zippy because everything that you say to him is immediately repeated.
The final member of our team is in charge of red brick production and is called George due to his boundless energy and quick-witted humour and he loves making me cups of tea.
Coming from my last job I feel I will be happy here since I get the best of both worlds, the down to earth genuine characters who aren’t empire building and the ability to chill in a little corner doing my complex spreadsheets which no-one understands.
Just think in fact that I turned down a job in programming to work at this place but I do seem to fit right in, I am sure whoever reads my aimless twaddle out there in the ether will be getting a few more tales about how we get along together in The Lost World.
I just thought they will need a little introduction to start off the new soap opera.See you all (well you) soon

Just In Case You Think Your Day Was Bad

Gratitude

So here I am again, it’s a brand new year and for that I have created a brand new blog, I have included two of my stories from last year “The Final Countdown” and “My Very First Year Sober” to create continuity.
I cannot yet work out how to get a photo on to my profile or any music to play but well that’s part of the fun isn’t it, I feel kinda sad to say goodbye to my old blog but I will completely link it to my new one in Blogger.
I suppose Blogs are excellent tools for doing Step 10s of the legendary AA program or Jedi Code as I like to interpret it and well doing a spring clean of my first year sober has left me with nothing but gratitude.
I have gained some brilliant friends in the AA and some fantastic Cyberfriends in Mollys where we all like to hang out to exchange our tales of woe, I suppose one of the very close cyberfriends I have is Jedess Mercury who joined the AA about 2 months after me.
Jedess Mercury I have followed every step of the way and like myself it is an inspired rising from the ashes like a phoenix, she is a good example to any newcomer who wishes to start off on the long path of sobriety after reaching there respective rock bottom.
Sometimes I think that my first year sober has been comparatively easy for me, at least overall everyone I know has been giving me a helping hand but incredibly in this young Jedess’s life there are people who have deliberately set out to destroy every new step she has made but as the old song goes “The higher we build the barriers – the stronger we become” and this has certainly been true for this strong minded young lady.
I have also had my Cybermum, Eve, who doesn’t like to mince her words and if something is amiss she will definitely tell you straight. There is Jedess Katkins who has finally decided to draw her line in the sand and take a new bold step into a whole new world joining myself and Debbie as the third self appointed Padawan Jedis in Mollys.
Whoa-Nelly, Jem, Kitten are three other members of our clan and how great it would be one day to have a Mollys AA meeting in the flesh and just see how well we all get on out in the real world.
Yes, it has certainly been a wonderful year for me and I cannot put into words the gratitude I have for the AA, I think the biggest secret is for success in AA is just going along after you have reached a total rock bottom and listening and doing precisely what you are told.
Initially I thought the AA steps were like an exam which you had to pass to progress up the ladder in terms of recognition but they are in fact fundamental principles which you must now live your life.
The biggest lesson to learn is the hardest, how do we be totally “selfless”, I mean alcoholics especially secretly thrive on recognition and ego boosting, you can easily make a very sincere friend of an alcoholic by telling him how wonderful he is.
I am today on Day 372 and I really do now try and live just one day at a time, thoughts of tomorrow or yesterday no longer concern me and my total faith in my higher power “The Force” has allowed me to no longer worry about any of the infinite possibilities for what the future will be because deep down I know they are what is good for my soul to develop on the bigger picture of life which includes the life beyond the veil of death which we are all brainwashed to believe to various extents to be the final curtain.
My last month or so has certainly proved that the Force has been with me every step of the way since I was made redundant then reinstated but in that gap in between was able to overcome my chronic fear of interviews.
Even to my own disbelief I was offered the Job from my final interview, the one which I allegedly asked quite unbelievable questions to the poor interviewers and has Eva pointed out to me this wasn’t exactly spiritual so its just as well that it wasn’t also true but I did write back to them and posted the letter this very morning with…
“Thank you for the offer of employment with Result Group, unfortunately I have decided to take up my current employers offer of the internal vacancy at there Swillington Site which I have just commenced the new post.

I am sure I would have really enjoyed the challenge of working as part of your team and learning the Progress language however I was put in a position of having to decide if I was staying in a new post and forfeiting the redundancy package or opting to take my chances with other external employment such as yourselves and I was given the ultimatum that Friday just following our interview.

I really feel It could have been great mutual benefit since I am very eager to learn new skills and work as part of a team.

Once again I thank you for the offer and should my situation change in the coming months I will contact your company if that is okay by yourselves”
I really believe that it is only a matter of time before our current Newtonian worldview is entirely shattered, a view that for the last 300 years has completely dominated our minds that the world is one huge machine.
Already cracks are appearing all over the place but the Mechanistic Universe is fought for by many as it is the only thing they can comprehend with there feeble minds, in the 1920s the dawn of the Quantum revolution totally changed our view of the Universe forever.
The field of the force is all around us in empty space it is described reluctantly by physicists as the “Zero Point Energy” and it is only by acknowledging its presence that many of the major theories have been built today, but in truth ask any physicist and they don’t really understand how it works they just know it gives the right results.
Every part of the universe is connected to every other part of the universe and our material world is just the tip of one huge iceberg, a tiny residue left over in a sea of fluctuating energy fields.
We are indeed luminous beings not crude matter, the crude matter which are our bodies are just clothes we wear in this material incarnation which is a requirement for our soul to progress.
I no longer try to analyse the world now, I just accept it has it is but it gives me a great deal of joy and zest for life to know that death is just the beginning of another adventure…
It was staring into the eyes of death that brought me to AA but my life then just resembled a monotonous existence, you know the one like in “The Christmas Carol” where Ebeneezer Scrooge was walking through the streets of London but everything was grey and cold like the contents of his mind.
In just a short period of 372 days I have completely altered my perception of my life and in a way I did have to come to terms with the three ghosts.
The Ghost of The future was laid open to me with the first three steps of the Jedi Code, I cant, He can and I will let him; I can no longer live my life the way I was doing and by belief in a force which we can label Him I will let him steer my boat from now on I will just put the effort in by rowing it.
The Ghost of the past was laid to rest with steps 4-9, something that is very difficult to do properly but can only be done well by letting go of the future first because only then can we be ready.
Then the Ghost of the present can be lived with a day at a time by repeatedly repeating the final three steps to the best of your ability a day at a time and you are then liberated from your three dimensional existence and you do honestly see yourself as three ghosts as you move on to live a complete four dimensional existence.
Time and Self will loose there importance and the world becomes a much more exciting place.
For my 1st birthday at AA I was bought three cakes, the first was bought by my fellow recoverer “The Messiah”, the second was bought by my close friend and sponsor “JMSS” and in return I did my first big share at the Brighouse AA meeting and left feeling totally lifted in spirits.
I think it was here that I realised just how wonderful and powerful the AA is, and this message is passed on from Master to Padawan but only those who are not easily distracted by life’s materialism rise to the status of Master.
At the Holmfirth meeting last week Bob The Builder bought me another cake and this time everyone sang to me happy birthday and not for the first time in my AA career I was nearly reduced to tears.
This time I payed back with a little service by taking the Chair at last nights meeting and asking Jedi Master Mace Windu to perform his awesome message which was also very simple, even Yoda looked upstaged at the reaction of his own group to this very wise master.
Next weeks sharer is The Undertaker, another very powerful character who has seem one of the most catastrophic rock bottoms I have ever witnessed, I can only add one more bit to this Thank the force for the AA!